Keeping Up With the Joneses

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!

2010-04-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

First let me say,

"NOTHING IS WORTH MORE THAN THIS DAY!"

Next let me shout,
"IT'S FRIDAY,
BUT SUNDAY IS COMING!"
(listen to song here)

And finally,
"Keeping Up with the Joneses,"
(which began 3 yrs ago on Good Friday)
has
MOVED

to
VICTORY RD.
victoryrd.blogspot.com

I hope to see you there!

This Road I've Traveled

2010-03-31T07:43:00.000-07:00

As I look back on this road I've traveled
I see so many times He's carried me through
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life
My Redeemer is faithful and true

My Redeemer is faithful and true
And everything He's said He will do
And every mourning his mercies are new
My Redeemer is faithful and true
By Steven Curtis Chapman

the test of grace

2010-03-27T16:36:00.000-07:00

a friend recently commented that "the best friendships are those that stand the test of time."
i responded that "those friendships are wonderful indeed, but to me the best friendships are the ones that stand the test of grace.

i need grace.

too often my mouth takes off, spewing out words before i can catch them.

i'm working on self-control,
on mouth-control.

but in the meantime

i need grace.

i am a selfish creature. i like things my way.

i'm working on considering others before myself,
on trying things your way.

be patient with me,

I need grace.

i'm judgmental and prideful.
(i'm a recovering pharisee)

I'm working on humility.

don't be done with me.

i need grace.

i am insecure.

sadly my insecurity can cause me to be the ugliest version of myself.

i'm sorry.

I NEED GRACE!

the best friendships are those that stand the test of grace.

they stay.
see in me what i cannot see in myself.
love me,
and wait with great expectation as
the Potter shapes this clay...

With His Grace.

(photos of yarn taken during our weekend away).

away

2010-03-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

we don't date much.

we do life;
working, photographing, taxi'n, bills, cooking, cleaning,
yard work, weeding, laundry, homeschooling,
disciplining, grocery shopping, surviving, and hoping-
life.

our dates consist of
two weary parents,
with kids tucked into bed,
falling on the couch
and into each others arms
every night.

weekends away together are a treat.
holding hands,
conversation and quiet,
delighting in our life together,
dreaming of our future,
being "us" again.

at avila beach

nana& gramps (the sitters) loft in S.L.O.
so lovely and SO FREE!

pix from avila beach and santa barbara.
i'm curious what is a "mind spa?"
(i'm sure i could use one).

i'm thinking of laying a beach towel out on a beach with a cardboard sign that reads
"stay at mom needs babysitting money!"
i'd toss my coins to that worthy cause.

a sunday a.m. bike ride in s.l.o.
(thanks lindsey for letting us use your cruisers).

moonstone beach in cambria.

ending the weekend in the most delicious way,
with a peace of linn's olallieberry pie
(linn's will air on the food network's "best thing i ever ate" in the fall).

do you and your husband date?

what would your beach towel say?

beauty is a homeless man

2010-03-18T11:00:00.001-07:00

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in,
I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was sick and you looked after me,
I was in prison and you came to visit me...

I tell you the truth,
whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine,
you did for me.
Matthew 25:35-36 & 40

We met George Lucask in 2005. He had been a crippled, abused, toothless, homeless man living under a bridge in Fresno before a family from our church befriended him. They brought him to our mountain community, and arranged shelter for him at a local motel. They also made arrangements with a handful of families to visit with and provide one meal for George each day.

We signed up for Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

George struggled to adjust to a motel room as his home (long term arrangements were being pursued). Adjusting to sleeping in a bed, showering, using the toilet, and cleanliness did not come easily for George. The street had become his home. And though it was unsafe, he wanted to return to familiarity.

George battled demons (lies). He had a history of shame. At 18 he left his country of Hungary to avoid being enlisted in the military. He never saw his family again. This caused him much sadness. In addition he had been wounded shortly after arriving in the U.S., as a result he spent much of his adult life on crutches. The defeat caused him to seek comfort in alcohol.

George had become an outcast. His companions were loneliness and scorn.

BUT God...

The kids ( 3, 5 & 6) and I would arrive at his motel room with a meal, snacks, a bible, and EXPECTANCY.

We expected to see Jesus in George, and with George.

And we did.

EVERY. TIME.

As George sat to eat his meal, I'd read scripture, share my stories of battling lies, and coming into Truth. George received them. I saw the doors of grace opening in his dear life.

Each time we visited George, my sweet Emilie delighted in seeing him! She'd embrace him and hold his hand, nestle in close to him. Her genuine love made this untouchable, touchable.

The gray walls of George's motel room were quickly being transformed into a gallery. As a handful of children poured their love for him out in displays of art.

Washing George's feet became part of our visits. His feet caused him much pain, and had scaled over, increasing his pain. Tenderness, Compassion, and Love were invited into his room with each washing. I was humbled (a gift as i was coming out of the most prideful season of my life).

Once we brought George to our home. We had visited him many times in his home, but knew hospitality meant inviting him into our lives as well. He sat with the kids and I as we home schooled. And then we put George gladly to work, cutting strawberries for his favorite dessert- strawberry shortcake (he was adorable with whipped cream in his beard).

On another outing (which resulted in ice cream sandwiches and driving through a car wash) We were listening to hymns when George started singing loudly and clearly-

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation!
O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy health and salvation!
All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near;
Praise Him in glad adoration.

Praise to the Lord, who over all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen how thy desires ever have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper thy work and defend thee;
Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee.
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do,
If with His love He befriend thee.

Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him.
Let the Amen sound from His people again,
Gladly for aye we adore Him.

Those words have had new meaning and power since hearing them flow from George's lips.

In George I saw that Beauty is a homeless man.

Before I met George I thought He was "the least of these," but during that season with George I discovered that I was the "least of these." I hadn't seen Jesus in ALL people, only in people that looked the part.

But George, a homeless man, was Jesus with skin on.

And Jesus was beautiful.

Where have you seen Beauty?
(George now lives in community, in a home for Senior Citizens,
where his physical, emotional, and medical needs are provide for).

To read more stories of Beauty or to share your own visit Best Days of Our Lives.

green with envy

2010-03-17T09:08:00.000-07:00

"smoochy"- noah's frog, our green view,
a green wall, my green boy (22 months)

st. pat's day shirts
follow this tutorial to make your own.

yummy cookies in a green box, green thread,
green suitcase, green book- "the giving tree"

crazy. wonderful.

2010-03-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

as my sister, toni, and i got in her car and drove away from oakdale, she said, "i'm tired. this day feels like it began a long time ago." i thought about the weight of her words and responded, "it did, it began 26 years ago when mike became our dad."

the day caused us to revisit our childhood. together. which is much better than doing it alone. it is lonely to go there alone.

we attended mike's memorial service. we were recognized in his obituary and eulogy as step-daughters. we were included in the photo collage. we were recognized and embraced by family and friends. childhood stories were told and delighted in.

after the service we drove through our childhood. down the streets, past the many homes, and memories. together. it was important. we've both done it alone, but never together. and we extended grace to the other for how they experienced that time. it was good. healing. necessary.

our drive took us past the home of "dad" #6, larry. he was home. we wondered if it would be too much for this day, to stop by, but curiosity got the best of us. he was delighted to see us. just hearing his voice and seeing his face was a piece of home to me (my memory of home is a puzzle of pieces).

as larry introduced us to his new girlfriend he proudly announced, "these were my girls."

in the previous post i quoted beth moore, who says, "you can't amputate your history from your destiny." she says, "God wants to redeem your history."

redemption happened yesterday.

when the relationships with the "dads" ended, there was never explanation or conversation between the adults and my sister and i. the adults moved on, and we were required to move on too.
sadly this lack of consideration for the tender hearts of two little girls left a lot of room for lies to move in. i have believed all these years that i (we) was irrelevant, not wanted, and of no worth to the men who were dads (this of course has carried over into other areas of my life. i battle this lie daily).

but at mike's service our relevance to his life was shared.

and when larry introduced us as his girls that too spoke of our value.

the lie i've believed was being rewritten into truth.

God is redeeming, rewriting my story.

and i ask myself. 'why am i sharing this with you?'

and this is why...GOD.

look at me.

do you see HIM?

do you see God?

Oh, how i long for you to.

God has saved my life.

and given me LIFE.

i am a God miracle.

i feel like the crippled beggar (Acts 3) who was placed at the temple gate (called Beautiful) everyday. he begged for $ (for provision) but in Jesus he found what his heart really longed for, The Healer.
The scripture goes on to say that after his healing he went into the "temple court, walking and jumping and praising God."

do you see me? i am walking and jumping and praising God!

john 3:16 says, "for God SO LOVED the world, He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him will not die, BUT have everlasting life."

i live in that love!

i live that everlasting life!

and i only LIVE because God saved my life.

as we drove away from oakdale, toni said, "it's crazy. we have 7 dads."

"it is crazy, so crazy!" i responded. "but it's also wonderful. we have loved and been loved by many."

Thank you God for healing the crazy and making it wonderful.

May God heal the crazy in your life. redeem your history. rewrite it. make it wonderful,
and be glorified.

7

2010-03-12T07:33:00.000-08:00

i usually crack jokes about it.

i don't know why i do this.

i think because it's such an uncomfortable thing to say, and i imagine an uncomfortable thing to hear.

so i crack jokes.

and when i do the other party laughs.

and that uncomfortable feeling-sorry-for-me moment seems gone.

but today i'm not going to joke about it.

beth moore says, " you can't amputate your history from your destiny." she is right. i've tried to sever limbs from my story, but God doesn't allow it (how i've wished he would). However, He causes me to live with my wounded limbs- my wounded history.

He wants to, and He does, REDEEM it.

so here it goes...

i've had 7 dads.

(long awkward pause)

joe- is my birth dad. he didn't claim me as his daughter until last year. he was a drug user for 25+ years. he is lives in a state hospital, he is paranoid schizophrenic.
he taught me how to throw a frisbee. he bought me my first car -it was a yellow convertible with pedals. he ducked taped it back together when it fell apart. he liked working on cars.

kenny (k-2nd)- was my first step-dad. i called him daddy. had his last name. he introduced me to jesus. made me a teeter-totter. he put a swing in the tree of our front yard. he'd push me so high my toes reached heaven. after he and my mom divorced he took my sister and i to columbia state park. that day meant a lot to me (columbia is still one of my favorite places to visit). i found a large fools gold rock with him that day. it is 28 years later and i still have that big rock.

manny (3-5th)- my mother was engaged to him. he was a quiet man. kind. he played guitar. he'd sit by my bed side at bedtime with his guitar and sing a song he wrote. i don't remember much else about manny, but this is a lovely thing to remember.

mike (5th-8th)- i called him dad. had his last name. he loved sports. taught me how to throw a football. coached my softball team. took my sister and i to the park, and made us learn how to slide into home base. he was a hard worker. had a lively family. he got us a basset hound, his name was mork. mike smelled like cocoa beans (he worked at the hershey factory).

tim (8th to Jr. year)- he was engaged to my mom. he never tried to be my dad. i liked that. he was a dreamer. he talked to me, listened, cared. once, i showed him a picture of a loft bed in a magazine, he surprised me by making that bed for me (he didn't sand it. he didn't measure the space between the mattress and the ceiling. i'd have to shimmy up the wall to get into bed, then lay flat on my back with my nose to the ceiling. this still makes me laugh). tim still calls me twice a year. he calls on my birthday in the fall, and again in the spring. it means a lot to me that he kept his commitment to be a part of my life.

larry (Jr. year -19)- my mom married him my jr. year of high school. he was stable. had a jolly laugh. he was a hard worker. he too didn't try to be my dad ( a good thing). he provided us with a beautiful home. he liked and built cars. my 65 ford falcon looked good parked next to his 34 ford cabriolet. we had a bartering system-he'd fix my car, and i'd pay by mowing the lawn.

steve (20-present)- hard worker. calls me "kiddo," loves and delights in my kids. i like to watch him worship.

i've had 7 dads.

i can't amputate them from my story.

there is much ache as a result of having seven dads that i have not shared.
just having 7 dads come and go brings enough ache of it's own.

i love each of them.

and i have mourned the loss of each of them.

this weekend i will go to a memorial service and mourn the loss of one of them again, mike passed away.

BUT
there is daddy whose loss i will never mourn.
God is the "Everlasting Father" (Isaiah 9:6)
a Father who will "never leave me or forsake me."
His love is unconditional and immeasurable!
He rewrites my story, redeems my life, and tells a better story.
and I LOVE HIM!

baby love

2010-03-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

tutorial links:
cloth baby blocks
paper bows
paper flowers
(i used magazine pages, and scrapbooking paper for my paper flowers. i also used twigs for the stem)
applique onsies
(i used fusible fabric underneath, lined the top fabric to it, then stitched the perimeter with a zig zag stitch)

her baby

2010-03-06T19:42:00.000-08:00

"she's moving," melanie said, and i quickly placed my hand on her belly.

and waited.

waited to feel her baby.

melanie's baby.

melanie, the 10 yr old i met 20 years ago.

the 10 yr old who grew up in front of me.

and along side me.

the baby of a girl who by God's design was never my friend, but my God-sister.

i waited to feel her roll.

sweet baby girl.

and with my hand on melanie's belly, i remembered.

20 years of sisterhood;

meeting

oakdale church of the nazarene
enthusiasm
church roof, laying under the steeple taking in the stars
hand-me-downs
mission trips
my first apartment
concerts
introducing her to michael
moving 2 hrs away
then her moving an ocean away
seeing her again on my wedding day
the penguin car
popcorn and kool-aid
driving her to meet her future (college)
not knowing that as i dropped her off my future was changing (noah)
christmas break, and my first baby belly
her wedding day
first homes/neighboring homes
coffee at her place
friendship that stands the test of time and grace
and the good bye hug.

and baby rolled across the palm of my hand.

melanie's baby.

i couldn't keep the floodgates shut.

melanie's having a baby!

and i love her already.

because she is my melanie's baby.

proud daddy steve, "mel mel," baby (in the belly of course), me, and michael.

baby shower pix to follow!

handmade

2010-03-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

i have spent most of this past week preparing for a baby shower i'm throwing this weekend.

i waited till close to the last minuet to make banners, paper flower bouquets, and to sew baby gifts.

today i'll clean, bake, and try to figure out how to fit 30 people in my home for tomorrow's celebration.

i'll take lots of pix of the event, and send you links so you too can learn how to create your own pretties.

in the meantime enjoy a few handmade items from someone who use to be afraid of handmade.

one of my new favorite, creative blogs is How About Orange. where i have found too many handmade things to try my hand at. i have been surprised by what i can do! these gift bows made from magazine pages were easy-peasy! so easy in fact i may never buy a bag of a dozen gift bows for a $1 again.

we recently attended two first birthday parties, both with the cupcake theme.
i whipped up these darling little cupcake shirts for the birthday girls.
they look delicious to this fairly new appliquer.

and because i was going applicrazy i had to make each birthday girl

another shirt with an ME look.

What are your weekend plans?

Are you a fan of handmade or do you fear it?

A Good Infection

2010-03-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted Feb. 2009)
"This matters more than anything else in the world... The whole dance, or drama, or pattern of this three-Personal life is to be played out in each one of us: or each one of us has got to enter that pattern, take his place in that dance. There is no other way to the happiness for which we were made.

Good things as well as bad, you know, are caught by a kind of infection. If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them.

They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, just hand out to anyone. They are a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very center of reality. If you are close to it, the spray will wet you: if you are not, you will remain dry.

Once a man is united to God, how could he not live forever?

Once a man is separated from God, what can he do but wither and die?"

C.S. Lewis
Mere Christianity

photo taken on my trip to Flores, Azores, Portugal - July 2007

I'm Alive

2010-02-27T20:38:00.000-08:00

My hands are searching for You
My arms are outstretched towards You
I feel You on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for You

This fire rising through my being

Burning, I'm not used to seeing You

I'm alive, I'm alive

I was inspired by Lisa Leonard's post Photo Play to attempt some collaging of my own over at picnik. I have a lot to learn, but it is fun to branch out from my usual collages.

The lyrics to David Crowder's song All Around Me have been playing like a new favorite record on my heart this week. The line "My tongue dances behind my lips for You" speaks of the intimacy God and I share.

These two photos capture me, ALIVE.

When are you alive?

To listen to All Around Me select this link and listen to it at Lala.com

Winter Olympics

2010-02-26T10:14:00.000-08:00

People will often ask me how I like homeschooling. My response is always the same, "I have a love/hate relationship with homeschooling. I love it because I am with my kids 100% of the time, and I hate it because I am with my kids 100% of the time."

So you'll understand why one of my favorite times of the homeschooling year comes during the winter when our family participates in homeschool ski day's at Badger Pass in Yosemite.

Michael takes ski days off from work. The kids enjoy the physical education portion of their schooling with their substitute teacher and daddy.
$14 each covers the expense of ski rentals and skiing, and it buys me a DAY OFF!

After 5 months of sitting at the table surrounded by books, papers, lesson plans, and pencil sharpeners, this homeschool mom/teacher gets a few much needed personal days.

On my personal days I take in a movie, linger at a book store, sip coffee and people watch, enjoy a quiet meal, window shop, and breath... all by myself.
I have 9 hours to cram quiet goodness into. I aim to metal in gold in my personal day sport!

Emilie, sporting the Hannah Kearney look.

Josie wearing my child hood beanie.

Josie asked Michael to take pictures of her "high off the ground to show mommy."

Enjoy this short video of mostly Josie; narrating, skiing, crashing,
and speaking with a southern accent.
(where could she get her in front of the camera goofiness from?)

Thank you Spinner for joining Michael and the kids for this ski day.
Next time grab the camera and get me some pix of you with the kids too!

Spring. Is. Coming.

2010-02-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

Spring. is. coming.

Spring: to appear or grow quickly; to move suddenly forward or upward;
to release or cause to be released from confinement.

It's raining on these hills outside my home. It's been raining on these hills inside my heart.

Rain. Is. Good.

The hills are thirsty.

Because of the rain there will be a GLORIOUS spring!

The hills have already turned a vibrant shade of green. I'm waiting for delicious blue skies, surrounded by puffy clouds to frame their beauty.

a lone lupin waits on my hillside, longing to be in community. It will. When the remaining lupin are released from their captivity they will join in a dance of purple on my hillside!

Wildflowers in shades of white, butter yellow, and baby pink will join them in the dance.
Some will be delicately chosen, they will dance into my home, waltzed away by little hands, delivered as a gift for this mommy.

Spring. Is. Coming.

thank you noah, emilie, and josie. thank you for seeing the almond orchard filled with blossoms, and saying (before i asked),"mommy, you want to pull over and take pictures don't you!" thank you for inviting me to do so.
it is good to be known.

better than a hallelujah

2010-02-16T17:24:00.000-08:00

I heard a song that resonates with me, giving me permission to be where i am. to be in this season.

This season of praising God with one hand, cursing at him with the other.

This season of finding God to be exciting, and yet terrifying.

This season where my God heart, my Spirit, is being shaped into some other form.

A few of the lyrics say, "we poor out our miseries, God just hears a melody." The lyrics go on to say this is Better than a Hallelujah.

Listen to to Better Than a Hallelujah here

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out, singing out.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

Reflections & Deep Love

2010-02-15T14:11:00.000-08:00

Since we're still on the subject of LOVE...
I had a bit of fun taking some Valentines Day pix
(love my little cannon).
Tucked between my pix is my favorite hymn.

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of Thy love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Thy glorious rest above!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Spread His praise from shore to shore!
How He loveth, ever loveth,
Changeth never, nevermore!
How He watches o’er His loved ones,
Died to call them all His own;
How for them He intercedeth,
Watcheth o’er them from the throne!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Love of every love the best!
’Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
’Tis a haven sweet of rest!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
’Tis a heaven of heavens to me;
And it lifts me up to glory,
For it lifts me up to Thee!

Get Your on Pleated Poppy here.
The necklace was a gift from my sweet blog friend Kristen!

to find the Place

2010-02-13T21:32:00.001-08:00

'It was when I was happiest that I longed most...

The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...
to find the place where all the beauty came from.'
Till We Have Faces, C. S. Lewis

Father, you are the Place where ALL the beauty comes from.

Because your Love is better than life,
My lips will glorify you,
I will praise you as long as I live.
Psalm 63:3

CrAzY 8!

2010-02-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

Comedic- you have the funniest sense of humor (you get it from your daddy). You say the wittiest things!

Radiant- you illuminate every room with your Sunshiney personality

Ambitious - you live expectantly, work hard at school, hope for your future (I can't wait to go to your restaurant, "Josefini Tortellini's"), and embrace adventure with bounce in your step!

Zealous- you embrace life, friendship, and worship (I love that you always have a praise song on your lips) with passion!

Yacking- Me: Josie why do you talk so much? Josie: talking is my favorite thing to do. And when your not yacking you delight us with your constant SINGING!

It is CrAzY that you are already 8!

When you were 3 I asked you not to grow anymore.
You told me you "had to grow to be 5"
(Emilie was 5 at the time. You have always looked up to your big sister).
When you were six you "promised you'd stop growing at 7."
But today,
TODAY YOU ARE 8!
Kids are 8!
How can you, my baby, be 8?

"They" said (who are "they" anyway), "it goes by fast."
"They" were right.
(I wish "they" were wrong)

"They" said, "enjoy them while they're young" and
"those are the best days of your life."

BUT I say
EVERYDAY has been better than the one before!

I've had 8 years of better than the day before with you!

If February 10, 2002 was the best day,
then today is the
Bestestestestestestestestestestestestestestest..............
DAY!

I am CrAzY in LOVE with you, and who you are!
(And don't even get me started on how I feel about your brother and sister!)

I'm SO GLAD GOD "added" YOU
to our lives
Josefine!

HaPpY bIrThDaY!

2010-02-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

Originally posted February 2009

Here is an easy Valentine to make. Get a box of Sweetheart's candy (empty the candies)
Insert your favorite picture
And add sticky magnet strips to the back

Voila! You have a great Valentine magnet for the fridge!
(this will be very popular with the grandparents)
Obviously this has been a favorite of mine for years!

Noah at 2 covered in chocolate. Emilie 9 months, in daddy's hat, with puckering lips.

Here is a photo of Josie at age 3 as my little Valentine. Back when she use to "Yub" me.

2010-02-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

I Am - Jill Phillips

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cause Mine is light

I know you through and through;
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest

I am, Jill Phillips

Get Out

2010-02-03T18:44:00.000-08:00

Two old ~~friends~~ enemies have shown up and taken up residence at my place again, Anxiety and Fear.

They use to live here. They use to run this place with their best friend, the leader of their pack, Lies.

I 'd finally had enough of them a few years ago (and by enough I mean 31 years of shacking up with them). I kicked them out. Took Life back.

I don't know when it happened, but they showed up. And I entertained them. They are so familiar.

I can see now that they have unpacked a few things. I see their crap (that's what it is) laying around.

I don't want them here.

Steel Bars - Jill Phillips

So this is how it feels at the rock bottom of despair
When the house that I built comes crashing down
And this is how it feels when I know the man
that I say I am
Is not the man that I am when no one's around
This is how it feels to come alive again
And start fighting back to gain control
And this is how it feels to let freedom in
And break these chains that enslave my soul
 
I refuse to be locked up in here like a prison cell
where all I ever get is a meal and four walls
I used to be just fine in here but not anymore
gonna break through these steel bars
 
So tell me how it feels when the tables start to turn
And you find yourself at the losing end
Tell me how it feels, you're not welcome here
'Cause I'm tired of pain and I'm tired of sin
 
I refuse to be locked up in here like a prison cell
where all I ever get is a meal and four walls
I used to be just fine in here but not anymore
gonna break through these steel bars
 
I won't let you win
I have no doubt
I don't want you in
So get out, get out
 
I refuse to be locked up in here like a prison cell
where all I ever get is a meal and four walls
I used to be just fine in here but not anymore
gonna break through, gonna break through
 
I refuse to be locked up in here like a prison cell
where all I ever get is a meal and four walls
I used to be just fine in here but not anymore
gonna break through these steel bars

Steel Bars, by Jill Phillips

zzzz's

2010-02-02T20:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Sleep,
I don't know where we went wrong? You left without warning. Please tell me how I can make things right between us. I'm desperate for you to return to me. I miss you. I need you.

Tired, and longing to be yours,
Denise

HaPpY fEbRuArY!

2010-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

plain white t's from old navy- $5
1 yard of valentine's material from jo-ann's fabric- $3
1 yard of iron-on backing for applique- $3
knee high socks (for sleeves), 40% off at jo-ann's fabric- $ 2.50 each pair
How stinkin' aDoRaBlE my girls look in their Valentines Shirts- PRICELESS!

learn how to make your own here!

eat, cuddle, enjoy, celebrate, worship

2010-01-29T16:00:00.000-08:00

this weekend i'm going to eat cookies,
cuddle with my husband,
enjoy the company of a friend,
celebrate a 1st birthday,
and worship.

What are your weekend plans?

What's in a name -part 2

2010-01-28T09:00:00.000-08:00

I'm here to rewrite this tragedy
One line at a time
Hold on,
I'm changing all the scenery
It's okay we'll be fine
Cause we know how this ends
We know there's a better story

There's a better story
Of true love
Of true grace
There's the hope of glory
And our first chance to be truly brave
It's the place we're going
When we can't stay where we are

Rewrite This Tragedy, by Sara Groves

As I shared in a previous post, "What's in a name?"
The meaning of my last name Jones means "Yahweh is gracious."

I looked up the meaning of my maiden (now middle name), Teodosio. It comes from the Greek word, Theodosius. Theo means "God," and dosis means "Gift" and "Giver."

Have you experienced those moments where God rewrites your story? The moments where you look back, but instead of seeing tragedy, God is present, whispering in your ear, telling you the truth about who you are, showing you that you were in His hand, and indeed His all along.
From that moment on you never look at that situation the same, you look at it with God present, with God's hand on your life.

Over the past few days, since discovering the meaning of my birth name, God has been rewriting my tragedy...one line at a time.

He started at my birth...

To be rejected by your father is a tragic story, it is the story I have lived my entire life. My earth father, Joe Teodosio, arrived at the hospital after my teenage mother gave birth to me, took one look at his 5lb 12 oz baby girl, and said, "she's not my daughter." Over the next 35 years there were too many encounters where he made sure I understood my nonexistent place in his world.

But God...

over the past few days, God's Spirit has taken me back to that hospital room, to my infant cradle. Back to a scene whose story has haunted me, and He has rewritten it. I see him draped over me, God with me. I hear him whisper in my curly, little ear, "Denise, you are a God Gift."... "Denise you are My Gift."

He has taken me through other scenes in my play, rewriting my story, making the character in my story different than it was in the beginning.

There's a better story even in the broken story. God is walking me through the better story, and I'm living it.

But not only is He walking me through yesterday, He is showing me today. Whispering in my 36 year old ear, telling me who I am... "Denise you are God Giver."

Could I be God Giver?

I want to be. More than anything I want to be.

When the last chapter of my story is is read I want it to be said of me, " Denise was a God Giver."

Who does God say you are?

Is God rewriting tragedy in your life?

Seeing Red

2010-01-26T11:12:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by my friend Linda, from Thoughts On These Things, to See Red in my home, and share photos.

l-r, red suit case, favorite red apron, red "you are special today" plate, red
painted cherries on my ME chair.

a little red doll, given to me by my dad.

l-r, red mini suit case, red wall/red pillow/red flowers, red josie,
my favorite red card given to me by a friend
(yes that's me photoshopped into a falcon).

What's in a name?

2010-01-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

I was sitting with a very pregnant, one-week-away-from-delivery-friend yesterday, and we were discussing baby names (of course).
Just as I was in that season of name choosing, she has been very intentional about the name of her child.

We discussed how the name you give your child has meaning, and that that meaning is a blessing over our childrens' lives, as well as a blessing over the family.

We wanted our first child to have a strong name, one that brought with it hope, promise, and deliverance.

Noah Joseph means "rest, peace, not broken, made whole," and "may God add"

I had chosen the name of my first daughter, and began praying for her when I was just 16. Her name fits her personality perfectly. As the middle child her qualities sweetly bless this family.

Emilie Erin means "industrious, diligent worker,"
and "peace or mountain of strength (Hebrew)"

Josie's name came to us quickly, she is named after my grandmother. The meaning of her name brought hope to us. We lost a child before her (Caleb, "who followed the Lord wholeheartedly"), and I wanted the blessing of God adding to our family. God has definitely added light, joy, and song to our family because of her. I also wanted the assurance of this child being dedicated, devoted to God.

Josefine Elise means, " may God add," and "consecrated to God"

But I realized I had only given thought to the first names. I had never considered that our last name might have a blessing with it as well.

I discovered that Jones comes from the Hebrew Yochanan meaning "Jehovah has favored," and from the Latin Johannes, which means "Yahweh is gracious."

He is gracious indeed! Since becoming a Jones, I have received more than I deserve. I find myself saying, "why did you give me this life, I have done nothing to deserve it." I see that God has only just begun to lavish his graciousness on me!

As I searched for the meaning of our last name I came across the Jones family crest, and discovered that the Jones motto is: Without God, without anything.

Yes, without Him, we have nothing.

What is the meaning of your first and last name?

stirring

2010-01-20T11:30:00.000-08:00

Do you want words to stir your heart?
Read this.
And when you are done and want more, read this

2010-01-18T11:44:00.000-08:00

i asked God to help me love my neighbor.
i do.
and it hurts.

it was easier when i didn't let his life touch my life. i think i knew it would hurt if it did. and it does.

it brings up a world of childhood emotions. lately i find myself in a sea of tears. the broken child in me wants to protect and cover him from the hurt he has no choice but to live in.

my neighbor is 9. he is an adorable, red headed, freckled faced boy, with the GREATEST giggle.

he lives with his grandma (who is his guardian), his mom, his sister, his schizophrenic aunt (recently released from the state hospital), her baby (grandma is her legal guardian too), and who ever else decides to crash there.

his dad is in prison. his sister's dad died. his baby brother died two months ago.

his mom came over a bit intoxicated last week to use our phone. i drove her home (yes next door). she had a very intoxicated "friend" visiting. he stayed all week.

we picked him up for church yesterday (he's been going with us regularly). he had a new haircut.
i told him he was handsome.
it was brought to my attention later that that haircut came with tears and him being cussed at by his uncle (who gave the hair cut, and was at the house for the weekend).

last year i started praying for God to put a man in this little boys life. someone to tell him who he is. i think boys need dad figures. i think they need a man to tell them, show them they are capable, to model what it is to be a man...to be godly.

last year after i prayed this he was expelled from school. he missed too much. he fell behind. he was placed in a continuation school where he was the only student. it seemed hopeless.
But his teacher is a man from my church, who LOVES God, and LOVES my neighbor, and wants to be the man this sweet boy needs in his life. he wants to speak truth to him, tell him who he is, teach him, love him.

a few months ago after he had gone to a family bible study night with our family, he called me (they don't have a phone anymore) and left this singing message, "Savior, He can move the mountains, My God is mighty to save, mighty to save."

tears... i hope HE does. Pray with me that God saves him, moves the mountains in this little boys life, and brings him into Hope. Pray that he will have a future lavished in God's love, and goodness, living in His Truth, thriving in Freedom.

I Want To Be One of Them

2010-01-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

Please visit the blog Rage Against the Minivan to read about how you can pray and help the Howerton family bring their son home from Haiti.

When the Saints
by Sara Groves

Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
It often overwhelms me
But when I think of all who've gone before me
And lived the faithful life
Their courage compels me

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call of freedom for the people of the Lord

And when the saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
And when the saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul

I see the young missionary and the end of the spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear

I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sisters standing by the lepers side

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door

I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
And when the saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

(f.b. friends, to hear song and read lyrics as well see video)

Weekend Plans

2010-01-15T12:09:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I suggested to my husband that we make tamales.

He made tamales. He made tomatillo salsa.

I helped.... a little. I helped fill the tamales (after he'd spent a day and a half preparing them), I had the girls create salsa labels, I took these great photos, and I ate the tamales and salsa.

I'm thinking this weekend I'm going to suggest to my husband that we clean the garage... oh wait, I already suggested that we clean the garage last weekend, and he already cleaned it.

Hmm, any suggestions on what my husband and I should tackle together this weekend?

What are your weekend plans?

Magnificent

2010-01-14T08:41:00.000-08:00

Magnificent
Oh, oh, magnificent

I was born, I was born
To be with you in this space and time
After that and ever after
I haven't had a clue only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue, oh, oh

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

I was born, I was born to sing for you
I didn't have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice from the womb
My first cry, it was a joyful noise, oh, oh

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar
Justified, till we die you and I will magnify, oh, oh
Magnificent, magnificent, oh, oh

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts
Justified, till we die you and I will magnify, oh, oh
Magnificent, magnificent, magnificent

Magnificent, U2

Performed on a rooftop in London.

My Love Language

2010-01-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Psalm 139 is well known scripture for many mommies. Verses 14-17 resonate with us-

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

But it is Psalm 139:1 that takes my breath away, "O Lord, You have searched me and know me."

To me being known is being seen. Being seen is being loved.

That is my Love Language.

It is how I am best loved. It is how I love best.

The more I know Jesus, the more I believe this is His Love Language.

This is what I like most about Jesus.

Jesus is intentional about knowing people. He sees us. Doesn't judge at first glance, but gets to the heart of us, to our story, to all the stories that have come before ours. Stories good, bad, of defeat, and victory which were written into our stories, and He knows us. Knows us better than we know ourselves. Gets us. See's us. And ENTIRELY Loves us!

I want to know, see, and love like Jesus.

For too many years I have played loving because it was the "Christian" thing to do. But in too many circumstances I never really loved. I was just meeting my Christian requirements. I don't think that is entirely bad, sometimes we must "fake it till we make it." Obedience is the first step. But I've outgrown just being obedient. I want to love, from my inmost being I want to love.

I want to love:

My neighbor. Who is broken. She resides in a prison not made of visible bars, but of drugs, alcohol, and defeat.

My neighbor's children.

A friend, who has destroyed her life, and is living in lies.

A relative whose choices grieve me.

and too many more...

I want to love them.

This is a gift I can give daily.
What gift can you give daily?

A few of my favorite things- part 3, "You had me at the box."

2010-01-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

It started with a box.

Michael's grandmother, Gram, made a tradition of giving a Christmas gift to her husband, Gramps, every year in the same box. Eventually the box made its way into the family. Each year someone new receives a gift in the box. This year I got the box! Because the box is valued and part of tradition, just getting the box was a gift.

But the blessing didn't stop there!

Before I continue, you'll need some back story: nearly two years ago I had a naked wall in my house. While visiting my s.i.l. her buffet (which was being stored under her house) asked me if it could come live at my house on that naked wall. My heart went out to the abandoned buffet, and I asked Lindsey if I could "store" it for her . She agreed, and in addition said I could "paint it whatever color I wanted to." Being the thoughtful s.i.l. that I am, I chose a color that would never compliment the colorscape (it should be a word) of her home, RED!
I really want to store the buffet as long as possible.

Shortly after we Michael painted it red his parents were over visiting. Michael's dad liked the buffet, but commented that I needed a red bench in my front window to compliment it. I agreed, and ever since have been searching for a bench to compliment the buffet.

This Christmas my search was over-

Michael's dad made me a bench and painted it buffet red! As they removed the sheet, displaying my thoughtful gift, tears filled my eyes, and I said, "You had me at the box."

It is so good to be known.

A few of my favorite things- Part 2

2010-01-08T16:23:00.000-08:00

Continued from yesterday's post...

I'm really blessed to have a husband whose parent's brought him up right! As a child they put him (and his siblings) to work alongside them; cooking, building, cleaning, problem-solving, creating, helping. And because of this Michael has confidence tackling many projects.

I don't think they knew then that they were giving their children a great gift. One that would translate into confidence and capability in their lives. THANK YOU NANA & GRAMPS! This is a gift we hope to (and are) passing onto our children.

Because of this gift given to Michael in his childhood I am blessed with the opportunity to have a great big "honey-do" list! And at gift giving time my honey-do wheels start turning.

Here are two "honey-do" and "knowing" gifts we LOVED giving.

Michael made the girl's beds for their American Girl dolls. Don't they look terrific! I made the bedding to match their bedding. The girl's were delighted when they discovered them on our Christmas morning by the tree.
Their dollies have already taken up residence in their beds- tucking jammies behind their pillows, and hiding A.G. belongings under the beds.

This gift was given to Micheal's grandmother, Gram.
For all they years she has been a Grandmother, Gram, has had a photo taken of each of her grand-daughter's and great-granddaughters in her mother's dress, seated in her own childhood rocker.
We thought it was time all those special photos were matted and framed for Gram.

The photo in the center of the frame is of her mother, Lilian May Riley Sullivan, in the dress.
Nana Sullivan is surrounded in the frame by her great, and great-great granddaughters!

I could hardly wait for Gram to open her gift, to see the expression on her face, to know this tradition she has carried on is valued by the generations.
(the two empty mattes are awaiting pix of new great-granddaughters).

BTW- Michael works by day as a fine art digital print-maker, and by weekend as a photographer (thanks honey for working the two jobs needed so we can eat and have a roof over our heads! thank you for making it possible for me to be a s.a.h.m./home schooling mommy to our kids), and again has the skills and resources to make a project like this happen.

A few of my favorite things- Part 1

2010-01-06T16:30:00.000-08:00

Growing up my least favorite thing about returning to school after Christmas break was the dreaded question, "what did you get for Christmas?" It wasn't because I received bad gifts (except for Purple Christmas 1992, when I received purple pants, purple boots, a purple purse, and other hideous purple items), it was just because up to that point I really liked my gifts (even the Pumpkin Patch doll I received when all the other girls were gifted the popular Cabbage Patch doll). I didn't like comparing gifts with the others. I didn't want to compare mine, I wanted to continue enjoying them.
Even then as a little girl on the school playground I wanted us to celebrate with each other the gifts big and small we'd each been given.

As I've grown I've aimed to become very intentional in the gifts I give. I have truly experienced, "that it is greater to give than to receive." I LOVE to give.
I am blessed from start to finish! Beginning with the "aha" moment the gift comes to mind, the process of creating, the moments of anticipation as the receiver opens the gift, and finally that moment when they discover they are known and deeply loved! Even now I tear up just at the thought of how WONDER-FULL that is!

Sarah Markley, from the blog Best Days of My Life explains it like this:
"In my own personal love-economy, gifts are important. I like to give them, I like to receive them. But it has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with knowing."

Over the next few days I will share with you gifts that share how we knew loved ones, and gifts that showed we were known.

Here are two ways I "knew" loved ones this Christmas.

I COULD NOT wait to give my sister her gifts! My sister and bro-in-law are in the process of adopting two darling little boys. She has had her eye on my Lisa Leonard mommy necklace that I wear, proudly displaying the names of my 3 loves- Noah, Emilie, & Josefine.
Look at her happy face below when she received her own mommy necklace!
In addition I took all of the photos taken of the boys since they received them and surprised her with a BLURB book.
I can't wait till they are officially ours, so I can finally share with you how stink'n ADORABLE they are.

I have scripture that God placed on my heart to pray for each of my children when they were babies.
Emilie's scripture comes from Ephesians 3:17-19

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, (18) may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, (19) and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

This scripture speaks of God's immeasurable love. I want my sweet girl to live in that. She will be reminded to do so as she wears her own Lisa Leonard necklace with her word "immeasurable" on it.

Did you give or receive a gift this Holiday Season that expressed "knowing?"

AND for the chance to win your own Lisa Leonard necklace, visit here to enter a GIVE AWAY!

Hold Tight!

2010-01-05T13:40:00.000-08:00

(originally posted March 24th, 2008)

Let us love Him! Let us love Him! He made us, and He is near. He did not make things and then walk away. He remains intimately involved, and all things have their being in Him.
See Him.
There He is, where truth is loved. He can be found within the very heart, even if the heart strays from Him.
Go back into your heart and find him sinners. Wrap your arms around Him who made you and hold tight ....

True Life came down to us and bore our death. By the abundance of His own life, true Life killed death.
And the voice of true Life thundered.
He shouted to us to return at once to Him.
He called us to the secret place from which He came.
His journey took Him first to the virgins womb.
There He took up mortal flesh of human creation.
He adopted mortal flesh, so that it might not be forever mortal. He embarked into life as a bridegroom into his marriage, knowing the joy of freedom that a great distance runner feels to launch out on the course.
For He never slackened his pace. He ran on.
and He shouted on.
His words and deeds clamored.
His death and return to life roared.
His decent from the Father and His ascent back cheered.
The Life cried out to us to return to Him. When He did leave the world where our eyes could see Him, it was so that He might return to us in our heart. He left that we might find Him. He departed, and -surprise!- the heart is where He reappeared.

St. Augustine

Some 2009 Favorites

2010-01-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

2009 Favorite Pix
(This is just a few. Really. It took a lot of self-control not to load my entire i -photo library).

More 2009 favorite pix below

2009 Favorite Posts

Punching Bags
my mom got a punching bag for Christmas. it is hanging in her garage, where she does her punching thing. in my opinion it was an odd gift to request. i would never ask for a punching bag, i wouldn't want to waste my time beating and pounding at something.
or would i?

Birth Story
my friend said to me that our stories, when we came into a relationship with Christ, are our birth stories. she commented on how we mommies love to get together and recount all the details of the birth's of our children. she said that God loves to tell the story of how we were born, again and again, but the only way He can do this is through us. isn't that a sweet thought.

You Are My I Love You

Driving Under the Influence of a Dunkin Donut
This is probably my favorite video blog (vlog) of the year. My husband Michael (who is typically my victim when I vlog), turned the tables on me, and with full control of the camera, captured me dunking and driving (btw- wouldn't that be a great advertisement slogan for Dunkin Donuts).

Seat 12A

I can't recall most of what Bob said, but I remember his face, and the Spirit alive in him. My Spirit was hungry for his Spirit. The Jesus in me had to sit with, meet with, cry with, rejoice with, the Jesus in him.

Happy Twenty Ten!

2009-12-31T18:21:00.000-08:00

The bright side of this New Year is that my hair doesn't look as hideous as it did 10 years ago on New Years !
Happy 2010

Our Christmas

2009-12-31T08:58:00.000-08:00

Because the Christmas season is filled with extended family we celebrate our family Christmas the week before Christmas.

We start with our Christmas eve.- singing together, reading of Jesus' birth in the book of Luke, praying together, then off to bed (so mommy and daddy can fill stockings, and make preparations for our Christmas day).

We wake to surprises under the tree, and open stockings.

We celebrate Jesus' birthday with a birthday breakfast party, just as we have celebrated each of our own birthdays through the year (complete with the table set, balloons, and streamers).

We read the story of Jesus' birth again, this time from the book of Matthew. We talk about Jesus being the gift we received that first Christmas. We speak of how God became man, was born here on earth, and how he longs to be born in us, live in us.

We open presents.
We go to church together.
Come home and play together.
We have a yummy "Linner" (lunch-dinner. This year we treated the kids to Tepanyaki. Entertainment, good food, and no cooking or clean up make for a very Merry Christmas).

Because our Christmas is a week early, we make it a goal to be done with all Christmas wrapping, crafting, buying, and preparing by our Christmas. This gives us a wonderful week off to enjoy the Christmas season, to enjoy advent and the coming of Jesus.

I never knew 9 years ago when we began this that it would become tradition. I LOVE that it has.
I confess moving Our Christmas was a little awkward those first couple years, But it has become so familiar, so who we are.

What Christmas traditions does your family have or have you created?

Mary & Joseph and the Teodosio Family

2009-12-30T08:34:00.000-08:00

Every Christmas day we travel to visit my family, the Teodosio family.
Christmas has always been hosted by my aunt and uncle, Mary and Joseph.

My uncle, Joseph Gabriel, was born on Christmas day, he is married to my aunt, Maria Gloria. They have three sons. None of them are named Jesus.

My family is a large Portuguese family. There are almost to many to count-44. There will be two more joining us this year by marriage and birth.

It is wonderful to come from a large family. I watch my grandmother and think of how this beloved family began more than 62 years ago, on the little Portuguese island of Flores, Azores, on the Atlantic Ocean. It began with a man and woman standing beside each other in a small catholic church. Neither knew what their future would hold.

Neither knew then that it would include 6 children, a new life in America, determination, strength, perseverance, heartbreak, grandchildren (including my sister and I who they raised), unconditional love, step- grandchildren, faithfulness, great-grandchildren, loss, loyalty, tradition, adopted great-grandchildren, and always- Hope.

I am blessed to be part of such a family.

It is overwhelming to think that God knew each of us then, back in that little church, on that little island, a million miles (well almost) away from here. It is overwhelming to think that He loved each of us then, just as He does now.

And I wonder what my little family of 5 will grow to be because of the love of a man and a woman standing before God in a church 13 years ago.

I can't wait for those Christmases when I will be surrounded by many generations of Jones'!

Row 1, Aunt Violet (whose finally going to be a g-ma) with Aunt Vicki and her grand-daughter Ava. Josie with her doll wearing a sweater made by Vava. Cousins-Amy, Sarah, Ava, and Michelle
Row 2, w/ my cousin Michelle, Christmas Decor, cousin Gabriel w/ g.f. Margie
Row 3, Aunt Hilda & Uncle Armando, Cousins Sean & Aaron w/ my Aunt Vicki (who was in a car accident in Sept. She is on recovery road- last month she was still in a wheel chair, this month she is using a walker! We are SO GLAD God let us keep her. Btw- her name means "Victory!"), w/ Cousin Michael.
Row 4, Sean, Vava, and me, happy Aunt Violet, Aunt Marie, Josie, & Aunt Violet

Merry Christmas'n with the Joneses!

2009-12-28T20:53:00.000-08:00

but God

2009-12-22T06:54:00.000-08:00

i recently mentioned in this post, that the two words "but God" are the most beautiful words...that these two words can say everything.

i had intended to write a post sharing with you why i believe that, but my friend thea beat me to it. i'm glad she did because her words say what i wanted to say perfectly!

below are thea's words. stop by and visit her blog, and tell her denise sent you!

"But God." My friend Denise has gotten me thinking about these words a lot. She's right--they're some of the most beautiful words ever.

I love that you can write anything in front of them. Anything! Stories of soiled souls, hopeless happenings, and seemingly unredeemable circumstances, and then swoop in right behind them with "BUT GOD" and the rest all fades in comparison.

"I was rejected by those who should have loved me." BUT GOD.

"My accusers breathe lies against me day and night." BUT GOD.

"I made selfish choices that hurt others and cost me my ministry." BUT GOD.

"I couldn't hold it all together and it fell apart." BUT GOD.

I was thinking about these words this morning especially as I read through Isaiah 60 and camped out on verse 2:

"See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
BUT THE LORD rises upon you
and His glory appears over you."

Darkness...thick darkness. BUT THE LORD.

And so often this "But God" part seems to always have to do with revealing His glory. Through our reprehensible deeds and those done to us, He is all about revealing His glory in us and through us.

________________________....BUT GOD.

Go ahead and fill in the blank. There's nothing in the first part of the sentence that supercedes the power and the glory and the majesty of the second.

and tell me, what is your "but God?"

emilie's winter limerick

2009-12-21T11:14:00.000-08:00

Expect-fully!!

2009-12-19T18:47:00.000-08:00

Advent day 15- FREE HOT CHOCOLATE STAND!
Scripture- Zechariah 9:9-17
This was our 6th year giving free hot cocoa to our community at Christmas. Every year WE are blessed in the giving. We love to stand together as a family and give out up to 160 cups of Hot Cocoa.
The voices of my children shouting "free hot chocolate!" delights me. This has become our Jones family tradition, and I LOVE THAT!
This year (and every year) I prayed for all the individuals that took our free gift, and for those that that pass us by, that they would receive the FREE GIFT that God gave us that first Christmas- JESUS! I pray that Jesus would be born in each of them.

Advent day 16- Christmas Caroling
Scripture- Philippians 4: 10-13

Advent day 17- Bake Cookies
Scripture- 1 Thessalonians 2:19 & Romans 8:16-17a

Advent day 18- Cookie/Ornament Exchange PARTY!
Scripture- Luke 2:8-20
The kids invited 2 friends each to our house to join us for their very own Christmas party (Thanks for letting this adult crash the party kids). All the children brought cookies and an ornament to exchange. They also brought a non-perishable food item to give to our local MANNA HOUSE, and $1 to give to Charity Water.
We had a fun time playing a game, eating junk food, listening to a favorite story "The Tale of Three Trees," exchanging treats, decorating cookies, discussing a local charity, watching a video about Charity Water, and giving to both.

I LOVE that my kids are bigger, that we are at a stage where we can throw fun parties together.
I enjoyed listening to all the kids giggles. Listening to them share their own stories, including stories of how their families are serving Christ in the community this Christmas season was delicious! MY KIDS HAVE DELIGHTFUL FRIENDS!

Advent day 19- Our Christmas Eve.
Scripture- James 1:17
You read that right! it's our Christmas Eve. 9 years ago we moved our Christmas. Between Michael's family, and my families, we already have 3 Christmas' to attend on Christmas day!
That is a blessing! BUT in order to have our own family Christmas we'd have to wake before dawn and be sleep-deprived-in-the-car-for-too-many-hours-eaten-too-many-Christmas-cookies-zombies by the time we hit our final destination, my Aunt Mary and Uncle Joseph's house (i'm not kidding). So we moved our Christmas to the Sunday before Christmas, and WE LOVE IT! We love having our family all to our selves, enjoying each other, and making our own traditions.

So tonight we'll be reading the Story of Jesus' birth, enjoying the wonder of it all, Expect-fully waiting for JESUS!

I'm also glad to know that when my own kids are adults they will not have to squeeze us in on Christmas day, as our family Christmas will always be reserved for the weekend before.
DID YOU GET THAT KIDS! YOUR ALL MINE THE WEEKEND BEFORE CHRISTMAS FROM NOW UNTIL FOR.EV.ER!

2009-12-15T07:25:00.000-08:00

My God is with- and within-me. I need to be reminded of this today.

catching up

2009-12-14T18:59:00.000-08:00

Advent day 7- Paint clothespin ornaments
Psalm 150

Advent day 8- bop it!
Zechariah 2:10-11

Advent day 9- Make marshmallow men and drink hot cocoa.
Isaiah 52:7-12

Advent day 10- Write letters to our Compassion child. Learn about and give to World Vision.
(The kids wanted to help a family by purchasing chickens).
Sing Christmas carols at a woman's luncheon.
Mark 16:15

Advent day 11- Dinner out and a stroll down Christmas Tree Lane.
1 John 1:4-7–

Advent day 12- Wrap gifts, make Christmas cookie dough, and watch the " The Santa Clause."
John 13:34-35

Advent day 13- Christmas Cantata in the a.m.. Bonfire, caroling, and hot cocoa in the evening.
John 8:12/ Ecc 3:3:13

Advent day 14- Christmas Piano Recital, and enjoy a new movie "The Tale of Despereaux."
(If you haven't watched this movie I highly recommend it. It is a beautiful story about courage and forgiveness).
Matthew 5:14-16

Wassail, Tow-trucks, and Flying.

2009-12-07T10:03:00.000-08:00

Advent day 6- "Here we come a wassailing!" Make wassail and watch "Little Women."
Scripture I John 1:5-22

Directions for Nana's Sweet Wassail-4 cups brewed tea (i use lipton).
4 cups cranberry juice
4 cups apple juice (not apple cider)
1 cup O.J.
3/4 cup sugar
4 cloves
1 tablespoon cinnamon (and/or cinnamon sticks)
(it is very sweet. i add 6 cups of brewed tea to lessen the sweetness).

Add ingredients together in a pot, heat, and serve. Let it simmer all day with a ladle and Christmas cups in close reach! Your home is guaranteed to smell Christmasilicious!

Little Women is by far my favorite childhood book. I became a part of the March family when I was 14. I'd escape to the park down the street from my home, find my way to the shade of a tree, and imagine I was Jo March.
I love to watch the movie each Christmas. Over the years I have discovered that In some way I am each one of the March girls- Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy.
Have you read or watched Little Women? Which March girl are you most like?

In my last post I mentioned that Michael and I were going on a date.
Here's how the date turned out!
The van broke down.
Thankfully we had the camera (i always have my camera) and were able to occupy ourselves during the 45 min. wait for AAA towing to come rescue us. As you can see from this pic. we didn't go hungry! Thank you Rod (tow-truck guy) for chauffeuring us the 45 min. back up the hill to our town in your sweet ride.

The van is now awaiting surgery. It needs a new timing belt ($523). We are hoping (praying) that is the extent of it's injuries. If they're are more injuries it will have to undergo another surgery ($2,000+).
I was thinking it would be nice if the "medical expenses" for the van could be included in our other medical expenses from this year, since we have already met that deductible.
<
On the bright side, the kids weren't with us when the van broke down, and we already had our other vehicle in town (can you imagine what a nightmare it would have been with kids, and then needing to get our other vehicle had it been at home, 30 miles from town. yikes! good timing God! - no pun intended).

And God, Thank you (as I mumble "bah hum bug" under my breath) for another opportunity for you to Provide, and show how You love us. We're counting on You again!

Finally, thank you to all of you who prayed for me! I did it, I played the guitar at church! I have a greater respect and admiration for the folks that get up there and lead both instrumentally and vocally each week. It's not easy.
I'm especially GRATEFUL for the individuals that lead with me-
Ross- who coached me through it saying, "just breath, you can do this, take your time" (i was SO nervous, so out of my comfortable element).
Susan- who whispered to me, "they're singing, your doing fine, they're singing (that was somewhere in the middle of song 3, when I was shaking so much I feared I would have what would appear to be an epileptic seizure).
Jeff- who had tears in his eyes, but don't tell him I told you, cause "grown men don't cry."
If your going to step out of your comfort zone, into something you've longed to do, but don't know if your capable of, make sure your surrounded by people who LOVE you, have your back, and want you to fly! Make sure your with people who want to fly with you.
Playing guitar was a blessing, but soaring with these individuals was a greater blessing!

Advent days 3, 4,& 5

2009-12-05T08:05:00.000-08:00

Advent day 3- Drink hot cocoa with 22 mini-marsmallows (that's how many days there were till Christmas), make advent chains, and fill in a Christmas activity book.
Scripture- Matthew 3: 13-17

Advent day 4- Slumber Party by the Christmas tree!
Scripture- II Corinthians 5:17-18

The kids thought I was taking pix of them jumping on the couches, but I was videoing them and all their goofiness.

Advent day 5 (today)-Spend the day with Nana n' Gramps!
Scripture- I John 1: 5-22

Today's advent activity gives the kids time to make memories with their grandparents (they'll be doing some Christmas decorating up at the lake house), and gives Michael and I a much needed break! I can't remember the last time we really looked at each other, or talked. I miss him. So a little unfinished Christmas shopping, dinner (with a gift-card), looking at each other, talking and/or enjoying the silent togehter, topped off by the movie "The Blind Side" is our childless plan for today!

And here is a little prayer request for me- I'm leading worship tomorrow at church. I have lead worship a zillion times vocally, BUT this time I'm leading instrumentally too. I'm playing guitar!
I need prayer for my nerves (Yes, even I get stage fright) to be settled, to have confidence that I can do it, and that I will glorify, and honor God in this offering of praise. THANKS!

Your Light Has Come!

2009-12-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See the darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the LORD rises upon you
and his glory appears upon you.
Isaiah 60:1-2

Advent activity Day 2- "Go to the Cool Bean Cafe for peppermint hot chocolate, and play Christmas Speed Scrabble!"

If you are ever in our neck of the woods (Oakhurst, Ca. If you visit Yosemite National Park, you'll likely drive through our neck of the woods, "The Gateway to Yosemite" to get there) and your wanting a GREAT cup of java, make sure you stop by the Cool Bean Cafe.

The Cool Bean Cafe is owned by the sweetest newlywed couple EVER! You will be BLESSED by their inviting personalities, and their love and desire for this community. In addition they offer DELICIOUS fair trade coffee (the Gingersnap Latte is my personal favorite).

And are you asking, "what is Speed Scrabble?" It is the funnest (it's a word) game EVER!
What you need:
Scrabble pieces from 2 or more games (i place a matching mark on the back of set pieces, so i can return them to the original Scrabble game as needed).
How to play:
Dump Scrabble pieces on table, flip them with letters facing down
Each player takes 7 pieces
Flip pieces and create a crossword puzzle with all the letters
The first player to use all pieces says, "take 2." All players grab 2 letters from the pile, and continue to build the cross word puzzle.
This process continues until the pile is depleted.
When the last player has successfully built their crossword puzzle using all the pieces, and their are no more pieces on the table to be taken, he/she counts down to 10, allowing the remainder of the players to time to try to complete their crossword puzzle.
When the counting is over the game is over.
DO NOT UNDO YOUR CROSSWORD PUZZLE!
Players count their points by counting the numbers on Scrabble pieces. Letters that are used in multiple words get multiple points.
Unused Scrabble pieces count against the points you accumulated.
The player to go out first automatically gets 50 points added to their points.
The player with the most points is the winner!
For Christmas Speed Scrabble we made a rule that each player with any Christmas word, received an additional 50 points for each word!

The kids and I enjoyed our time together, away from homeschool (shhhh, don't tell them they were working on their spelling as we played) and our normal responsibilities. We enjoyed sipping on cocoa and playing together.

The Spirit of Giving

2009-12-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

Originally posted Dec 8th, 2008
"God loves a cheerful giver," are words spoken often in our house. i think it is important to cultivate a spirit of giving in our children, and in each other.

typically when one thinks of giving they immediately consider their wallets, but in all honesty our wallets are pretty bare. because of this we have looked for creative ways to give over the years. i hope that regardless of how empty or full our wallets are we will always seek creative ways to give.

a creative way to give to the community:
free hot chocolate stand- for 5 years we have served free hot chocolate to our community. first, we get permission from a local small business, and use of an outlet. next, we set up a table complete with 2 large coffee pots (we borrow these from our church) filled with hot chocolate (enough for 160 cups), toppings of whipped cream, and marshmallows, and add a candy cane. then, we put the kids to work, inviting passers by to receive their free hot chocolate.for an individual or family:

the 12 days of christmas- we have had the opportunity over the years to surprise families in need of christmas blessings on the 12 days before christmas.
first, choose a family that needs to blessed! may be a family new to the community, a family facing financial difficulty, or a family struggling with health. there are many who need a bit of light to shine on them and their circumstances. many who need tangible love from their community (or even strangers) poured on them.
next, find 12 families (including yourself) to be gift givers for the 12 days leading up to christmas. assign a day to each family, give a gift tag to accompany their gift, and directions to the recipients house.
then, deliver gifts! gift deliveries are top secret. deliver early a.m. or in the p.m., be creative in your deliveries, send someone dressed as santa, or in camouflage. this is the one time a year it is okay to doorbell ditch (accept don't ring the doorbell)! finally, with the last gift delivered on christmas, send a card with everyone's names, wishing them a very merry christmas! this years gift tags have a #1-12 on one side, with this saying on the other. for family:
with as many as 7 families filling the jones house, and a grand total of 23 family members, well, that is a lot of gifts! we decided to get creative to find a way to blesss family members. how do we do it? breakfast in bed!
on christmas eve. morning families are served breakfast in bed. the night before we leave a door hanger on each door (just as you would find in a hotel), asking family members to tell us the time they'd like their meal delivered, beverage choices, and other special instructions.
on christmas eve. morning we wake early and get to work. michael does most of the cooking, while i serve as assistant. we ready the meal, ready the trays, add a special note accompanied by the christmas story of jesus' birth, then deliver the breakfast trays.

Coming, Expecting

2009-12-01T16:39:00.002-08:00

A few years ago I was given an advent box as a gift. The box has 25 smaller boxes to fill. Honestly, I wasn't thrilled about the responsibility that had been given to me. I Immediately felt overwhelmed at the duty of filling each of those little boxes with Christmas treasures.But the box has surprised me. Instead of filling it with store bought treasures I realized I could fill each box with an activity for each day. Because of this box the time of advent (which means "coming" or "expecting") has become the richest month of the year. I have found myself more intentional about the kids, being in their world, creating along side them, participating in their wonder and their giggles, making memories with them.

My goal for December is to share with you the activity planned for each day leading up to Christmas. In addition there will be daily scripture reading (thanks Kristen who suggested this, and shared her list).

The activities vary from drinking a cup of hot cocoa filled with 25 marshmallows (the days there are until Christmas) to having a Free Hot Cocoa stand.

Today's activity was to paint a Christmas tree on the sliding glass window (I am o.c.d., so the kids were surprised that the daily windexed window was going to be covered in paint!) The kids also made 25 ornaments from construction paper.

We discussed the meaning of advent, that the Savior had come to our world, to be with us, to be born in us, to be living in each of us.

For the next 25 days of advent we will add one of the handmade ornaments to the painted tree. The ornament will have the name of someone we love, who we will pray for. We will pray that Jesus will be born in them, that He will be their Savior, and live fully in and through them.

I hope you enjoy the next 25 days of advent with us!

What does your family do to celebrate advent?

(Scripture reading Isaiah 40: 1-11)

30 Days of Thanks!

2009-11-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

Nov 1. - thankful for God's grace. i need it.
Nov.2 - my girls playing together so sweetly.
Nov. 3 - noah's good hugs, and thinking the same thing.

Nov. 4- sleep

Nov. 5- portland, or. beautiful fall colors, and time with kristen (idaho mom)

Nov. 6- God, and that he made us each unique and wonder-full (the german and mexican couch surfers, glen, the batoligists, a witty arizonian man named corvin, and his sweet/tolerant wife).
Nov.7 -kristen, wading through portland, gondola ride, and Disneyland in my mouth (the melting pot).
Nov. 8- my hungry Spirit and Bob.
Nov. 9- my awesome family, i LOVE coming home to them!!
Nov 10- Chocolate Milk Tuesday and Spinner's spin on it.
Nov 11- being plugged in with my guitar at praise team practice! ahhhhh!!
Nov 12- that God loves my neighbors.
Nov 13- cherry pajamas, "color me mine," and memories made with sylvia, maddie, emilie, and josie.
Nov 14 -quiet
Nov 15 - i "threw up" and now i feel better. and i hugged a falcon (a ford falcon) a perfect way to finish my 35th year!
Nov. 16- Birthday breakfast for dinner! Discovering that i'm the whole package (of candles that is).
Nov. 17- surprise packages in the mail, and overcoming my fear of changing the guitar strings.
Nov. 18- coffee and reading thomas merton with michael.
Nov. 19- it's a GIRL, i'm going to be an auntie!
Nov. 20-good food, good worship, good people.
Nov. 21- Fall colors
Nov. 22- singing with Sylvia. that God changes the score to- Life 1, Death 0.
Nov 23- my funny gangsta rapping kids.
Nov 24- kristen's cookies for lunch (sshhh! don't tell anyone).
Nov 25- property taxes are payed
Nov 26- good stuffing. vava crocheting emilie's table cloth.
Nov 27- aunt vicki's strength and grace
Nov 28- a christmas tree, plus a fridge and cupboards full of groceries.
Nov 29- Psalm 23- he provides, leads,breathes into me, is with me, tells me who i am, protects, gives freedom, chases me with his love, is my home.
Nov 30- my home that is filled with laughter, giggles, peace, kindness, and love. i am BLESSED!

You Let Me Catch My Breath

2009-11-29T20:36:00.000-08:00

God, my shepherd!
I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through Death Valley,
I'm not afraid when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherds crook makes me feel secure.

You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of GOD
for the rest of my life.

Psalm 23 The Message

funny bird

2009-11-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

The turkey is a funny bird
His head goes wobble, wobble
The only word that he can say
is gobble, gobble
(sing to the tune of pop goes the weasel)

HaPpY tHaNkSgIvInG!!!!

Give Thanks!

2009-11-24T18:00:00.000-08:00

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100

some of my favorite worshipers- entering His courts with praise.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Homes Cool in the Mommyhood

2009-11-23T12:12:00.000-08:00

Yo Dawg!
Yo,Yo, Yippity, Yo!

Watch this sick video of the
Gangsta Science Rappers-
(Noah, Emilie, & Josie)

N Hood a.k.a. Busta Beatbox, Lil' Emilie J, and J.J. Nugget

Video by "D Chill" (Mommy)
It's COOLAWESOME!
("coolawesome" word rights belong to Busta Beatbox)

Want to Create your own rap name? Go here.

Whose Kid Is This?

2009-11-21T09:58:00.000-08:00

Hey, check out the chic in the Falcon

2009-11-16T11:51:00.000-08:00

This was the perfect way to finish my 35th year of life.
Happy 36th Birthday to me!

Seat 12A

2009-11-12T13:27:00.000-08:00

I was tired, and ready to settle into my seat and the last chapters of my book when I walked down the isle of the Alaska Airline plane, looking for seat 11B. Another woman had mistaken her seat for mine, so I agreed to take her seat one row back.

I didn't want to talk, to be friendly, to make conversation. I wanted quiet (are you surprised that i like quiet?). And then Bob sat next to me.

We introduced ourselves, quickly bypassing the awkwardness of being strangers.

Bob asked what I was reading. I shared that I was reading A Million Miles In a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. I told Bob that Miller was an author who shared thoughts on Christianity. I came out of the Christian closet, and briefly let Bob know that I love Jesus. I shared a bit about the book, that it is about living a story, living intentionally. Miller says, "that living a life without a story is like reading a book about nothing." I told Bob that I wanted to start living a better story.

I didn't shove Jesus down his throat. I try not to do that anymore. People don't want Jesus shoved down their throats.

Bob shared a bit about his family, his job, a little about his story.

Now that small talk was over I had hoped to settle into my seat, read, close my eyes, but I couldn't. My Spirit was hungry (you can think i'm crazy. i thought it was wonderful and crazy). The Spirit was in my belly . The Spirit was growling, hungry, wanting more from Bob (i could literally feel this happening).

So our conversation continued. I discovered that Bob loves Jesus too. He hadn't shared that yet, he hadn't come out of the Christian closet. I liked that. Bob shared more of his story, he let me read chapters of his life where the pages were filled with disaster.
He had been a pastor, had become addicted to pornography, had been removed from ministry, had almost destroyed his family, his life.

but God. (i think "but God" is the most beautiful sentence by the way. those two words can say everything).

God has rescued, redeemed, restored, and is rewriting (writing again) Bob's life... and Bob is BEAUTIFUL.

I can't recall most of what Bob said, but I remember his face, and the Spirit alive in him. My Spirit was hungry for his Spirit. The Jesus in me had to sit with, meet with, cry with, rejoice with, the Jesus in him.
Because of the story he had lived, and the story he was now living Bob was radiant! His words, face, person, were radiant with humility, compassion, tenderness, grace, glory, love.

As Bob shared I recalled a scripture a friend had shared with me a few days earlier.
"When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, He was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord."
Exodus 34:29

I shared the scripture with Bob. I told him that like Moses, he was not aware that he was RADIANT!

When Bob got off the plane (he was on his way to his father's memorial service), I just sat there in quiet tears, absorbing the place my soul was in.

The woman in my assigned seat got up from her seat, and said, "it looks like you two were meant to sit together," and then she asked for prayer for her 6 month old grandson she was on her way to take to the hospital.

Bob said, "good bye" again, and began to exit the plane.
And I sat there in seat 12A, staring out the window, into the next chapter of my story that waited for me outside.
I sat there not yet, ready to turn the page on this short chapter. "God, I'm going to miss Bob."
And He replied, "it is the Jesus in you that will miss the Jesus in him."

"When I look at you it is as if I am in the presence of Christ... It is the Christ in you who recognizes the Christ in me...Yes, He indeed is in our midst.. and from now on, wherever you go, or I go, all the ground between us will be holy ground."
Henry Nowen

Rachel & Norah

2009-11-11T20:49:00.000-08:00

on our last day in portland, ~~kristen~~ nora (the video will explain why) and i (rachel) took in the saturday market, a bit of wading (it was RAINY), a gondola ride, and dinner at the melting pot.

btw- there is video footage i haven't shared from our trip- me discovering kristen doesn't like pesto! who doesn't like pesto? and did you know she makes, likes, and feed hers family tater-tot casserole!
the video footage i didn't share (to cut down on lengthier videos) is of me asking random people (of course) if they would eat tater-tot casserole. ICK!
so tell me would you (ingredients: hamburger, tater-tots, corn, cheeses, and cream of ~~potato~~ barf soup)?
and do you LOVE pesto?

Waiting To Be Discovered

2009-11-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

this video makes me laugh and smile.

kristen and i had no idea that our little adventure to portland would lead us to meet some interesting and wonderful people!

this adventure caused me to be in awe of God, of how He creates people. scripture says we are all made in the "image of God." there are so many sides, layers, colors, fragrances, tastes, personalities... to God, all displayed in people. each person like a portrait, painting, book, movie, song, waiting to be discovered. God waiting to be discovered.

i envy God, He KNOWS each one of us.
He knows home-schooling mommies, "know it alls" from arizona, and their sweet wives, dad's from miami, couch surfers from mexico and canada, and batalogists who say "app uh lach in."

Oh how i would love to sit with God, and have him tell me each of their stories. I'd watch His face light up as our Father told me about each of His children.
He would get out His wallet and show me pictures of the "know it all" and his wife from Arizona, He would show me how beautiful His children are.
He would tell me about bats (shiver). He would be enthusiastic to share every detail (shiver). He'd tell me how cool batologists are, and how He delights in seeing His children be passionate about His creation.
He would tell me about glen- quiet, thoughtful glen.
And He would tell me about mexico, germany, and couch surfing, and how it pleases Him to watch his children embrace new cultures, new people, new experiences.

Hearing him, and watching Him, tell me about His children and how He loves them, would cause me to love him more, and to better grasp how He knows and loves me.

i won a give away!

2009-11-09T12:21:00.000-08:00

Enjoy the video above from the first day of my weekend getaway to portland, or. with blog friend kristen, from the blog idaho mom.

kristen would tell you that our friendship began through a give away i had on my blog. she left her first comment, and won a c.d containing one of my favorite mommy songs, "Sacred".

i would like to tell you that i was the real winner of that giveaway. i won a friend.
a laugh with, cry with, jump with, dream with, hope with, breath with, believe with, ride a gondola with...friend!

tell me which blog friend(s) would you most like to meet, and why?

where in the world is denise jones

2009-11-06T21:24:00.001-08:00

guess where i am.

guess who i am with.

(it's not donald miller, but i am reading his new book)

so make sure you have popcorn in the house, and maybe a pair of depends,

because vlogs (video blogs) are coming, and you might laugh so hard you wet yourself!

holy jeans

2009-11-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

part of being the baby in the family is coming to terms with the fact that most of what you wear is going to be a hand-me-down.

thankfully i'm a first born, so i never had to wear last seasons out dated polo shirt or previously pegged jeans. my sister was just 17 months behind me, and she was cursed with wearing everything i'd outgrown. though her favorite color was pink, she was typically stuck wearing my favorite color from last year- which was usually lavender. until jr. high that is when i had a love for everything florescent.

these jeans were hand-me-overs (clothing handed down by someone outside our family) for josie. when we received them they were "singing God's praises" in the knees- "holy, holy, holy." josie and i put our thinking caps on, and came up with a plan to give them new life.

josie requested leaves to cover the holes. i ironed them on with wonder-under, then stitched around them with embroidery thread (i used two shades of pink). material was added to the pockets with more wonder- under (love the stuff), and iron-on ric-rac was added on top of that to frame it.

i think they turned out darling!

after seeing the finished product josie went through her sister's old clothes and happily discovered another pair of holy jeans. she is planning her design, and is ready to put me to work
revamping her hand-me-downs.

bringing home the bacon chocolate

2009-11-01T14:49:00.000-08:00

after the kids were dressed up in their halloween best, we loaded them up and took them to a local church to "trunk or treat."
before exiting the van, we had a very important discussion with the kids...
me: okay, here we are. now this is your one chance a year to earn your keep.
emilie: what does that mean?
michael: to provide for the family
the kids were puzzled.
me: some people say that a man provides for his family by bringing home the bacon.
emilie: but daddy doesn't bring home bacon.
noah & josie: we like bacon, i want daddy to bring home bacon!
michael: bacon means money, and this is your chance to bring home the bacon.
josie: i thought we were getting candy?
me: you are getting candy, and chocolate is bacon. now provide for the family kids, mommy needs CHOCOLATE!

i love lucy

2009-10-30T14:46:00.000-07:00

false eyelashes, red lipstick, vintage aprons, and ricky...

i wish i could be lucy every day

i ate a booger

2009-10-28T13:44:00.000-07:00

you read that right, i ate a booger.

don't tell me you have never eaten a booger. i would guess 99.9% of the world has sampled their boogers. i recall a boy in my 4th grade class who really enjoyed his boogers. now he is 36, balding, drives a fancy car, and has a fancy job (i wonder if hair loss is a result of excessive booger consumption).

as you see from the video above we visited the jelly belly factory. if you live in cali. i recommend you take a detour and head over to the jelly belly factory and go on their 40 min. tour! it was Su.Weeeet.! literally.at the end of the tour there was a sample bar, with unlimited j.b. samples (you should have seen my kids eyes when they were told unlimited amounts of candy was available... you should have seen the "no it's not" look i gave them in return).
j.b. has some delicious flavors, but they also have some new flavors, "beanboozled." these flavors involve trickery- discovering your chocolate was replaced by dog food, your coconut for baby wipe, your peach for vomit, and your pear for booger. and that, that is how i ate a booger (yesterday anyway).with us on our tour my grandmother "vava," and my aunt vera.

as well as visiting the jelly belly factory we visited my dad. my dad lives in a state hospital. he is paranoid schizophrenic. you'd think that going to a state hospital would be the polar opposite of going to a candy factory. it could be. you'd expect it to be. but it wasn't it. it too was filled with sweetness.
sweetness as i watched my g-ma feed her son all his favorite portuguese foods. the way to his heart is though his mother's cooking, and she needed to love him that way. he needed to be loved that way.
sweetness was having his sister, my aunt, see him again for the first time in 12 years. my family tends to ignore his existence (i know it's not intentional, it hurts too much, the loss of their only brother, first to drugs, and now to mental illness). but it meant a lot to me, and i know it meant a lot to him.
sweetness came in conversations between him and his grandchildren. in talking about favorite colors, favorite foods, go-cart crashes, and how tall the grand-kids have gotten.
sweetness overwhelmed not just my taste-buds, but my other senses as my dad hugged each of his grandchildren and said to each of them, "i love you emilie, i love you noah, i love you josefine." i want that. i want them to be loved by my dad. i want him to be loved by my children, his grandchildren.
sweetness came in my own embrace, nestling for a moment into him, my dad.
and finally sweetness came as we left. he went through the doors of confinement,where he was searched by the guards, and we walked out the other door into freedom. there we waited, waited for him to turn around to see us not wanting to leave, wanting to wave goodbye one last time, wanting to take every moment given to us to soak him up. to us he isn't a patient or a criminal- he is a son, a brother, a grandpa...my dad.
he saw us waiting, waved goodbye, and looked at me, and said "i love you." (tears)

in many ways i have been "beanboozled," i received booger, vomit, dog food... instead of the sweetness i should have had in a dad. and it hurts. it hurts everyday.
i mourn and miss the dad i should have had (tears).
i mourn the life he should have had.

and i hate satan.

but i love God.
i love God because through His grace alone i have mercy for my dad (for a man who has been awful, hurtful, abandoning me, denying me as his daughter, torturing me with lies) but i really LOVE him. and i see him. who he is, under the illness. and i long for him.

and because of this, i see how God loves us, sees who we really are under our brokenness, and longs for us.

fall colors

2009-10-24T10:01:00.001-07:00

the kids have been out of school this week for fall break. i had comedown with the october homeschooling blues, and fall break was the perfect remedy to cure this illness. i needed to be mommy again, and give the teacher a rest. i needed them to be MY kids again, and not my students. so we decorated the house for fall, went to a movie, made tasty treats, played in the sunshine, turned the music up REALLY LOUD (sorry neighbors), and we DANCED!

Stellllllaaaaaa!!!

2009-10-21T19:35:00.001-07:00

last month for our anniversary my husband surprised me with a GUITAR!
( i'm not going to tell you that he also surprised me with a babysitter, yellow roses, and dinner at the cheesecake factory, out of fear that you'll become bitter towards me for having the most AWESOME husband E.VER! ).

i know what some of you ol' faithful blog friends are thinking, 'didn't he surprise you with a guitar last year?'
yes, he did, BUT he surprised me with a guitar AGAIN!

here she is, isn't she beautiful!my first guitar was pretty much the bottom of the line lets-see-if-denise-is-really-going-to-learn-to-play-the-guitar guitar. it appears that after a little over a year of playing i have proven myself worthy, and my sweet husband invested in me and my guitar playing passion. isn't he the SWEETEST!

by the way the guitar salesman said it was bad luck to name your guitar so i haven't. but if i was going to name her (which of course i'm not, because i don't want bad guitar luck- i need all the help i can get) i'd name her stella. she looks like a stella.

and i love it! i love playing the guitar.

i joyfully take ~~stella~~ her out of her case, take in her fragrance, set out my music, take her in my hands, and anticipate what is going to come out of her, and me as i worship (usually joined by my back up singers, emilie and josie).

and it is something i never thought i'd be able to do. something i'd longed for, but thought it was something this 35 yr old, uncoordinated girl was incapable of.
but it's not.

and i have to wonder maybe i'm not incapable of the other things i wish i could accomplish. maybe i'm not too old to begin. maybe i'll fail. but maybe if i try i'll be stirred up to be passionate and capable of more than laundry and cooking (which i'm not very good at all).

what do you long to do or learn?

fall back

2009-10-19T21:34:00.001-07:00

i miss when they were little. when time was concentrated on play, naps, graham crackers n' milk, giggles, slobbery kisses, and silliness.

i miss when fall invited us to tackle a fresh pile of autumn colored leaves
to go "on bear hunts"
to take wagon rides bundled up in our vava made scarves n' hats
to curl up on mommy's lap next to the first fire with our "kiki, tiggy, or dee dee"
(the names of their blankets)
to race laps around the sofas, burning tracks in the carpet
to engage in nightly wrestling matches and acrobats with daddy as they prepared for
cirque du soleil
i miss starting again the next morning with snuggles in our bed, tiny fingers wrapped around my neck.

i miss them, my little people.

I Saw The Light Saber

2009-10-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

last night michael and i went to a david crowder concert!
and yes, i vlogged it! enjoy.

Knocking

2009-10-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

"Look at me. I stand at the door and knock. I knock."
Revelations 3, The Message

My door has been shut for a while. Opening it would make me tender. Being tender hurts.
But i'm finding that not letting God in hurts more. So today I'm opening the door a crack. I'm looking at Him. I see my Jesus who has never left. He has been standing at the door- knocking, waiting... for me.

Take this soul and make it sing

2009-10-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere
Take this shirt
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don't make a fist no
Take this mouth
So quick to criticize
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
His love is like a drop in the ocean
His love is like a drop in the ocean

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, tell me now
Why the dark before the dawn?

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it pray

Yahweh by U2

going home

2009-10-06T12:06:00.001-07:00

last week i went to my 18th high school reunion!

here is a long, yet ENTERTAINING video capturing a bit of the night, and reuniting with old friends (also includes hello's to my b.f.f.'s who were unable to attend).

i look back at high school and am so grateful for that time. i am grateful for the friends i made. i wouldn't be who i am today if it weren't for the wonderful ways God wrote them into my life. i miss their presence in my life.

ideally children have families that meet their needs. ideally children have a physical home as well as an emotional home in their families. but i didn't. my family became the close friends around me. these friends were the people i ate with, cried with, laughed with, dreamed with, questioned Life with, and sought Truth with. they were my emotional home, and the school became my physical home.

i recall how i dreaded weekends, school holidays, and agonized over summer vacations. i felt homeless, without a sense of belonging. unlike the other children, i counted down the days till breaks were over. wondering if i was the only one eager to return.thankfully in the past 18 yrs since i graduated from high school i have learned to find my Home in God. through him and by the mentoring of others, i am learning to make a home for my family.but you see for me a high school reunion isn't just a gathering of old classmates, it's a family reunion.

it is a reunion of faces that are familiar, a reunion of people who grew up alongside me for 13 yrs, a reunion of memories shared, a reunion filled with the people who i am endeared to and love.

2009-10-02T14:12:00.000-07:00

"God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't."
C.S. Lewis
A Grief Observed

2009-09-30T12:33:00.000-07:00

What Song Would You Sing If You Were On American Idol?

2009-09-22T07:21:00.000-07:00

so this is our last day of vacation!!!! (i am singing that as i type it)

there were many options for the title of this post (as you will see from the entertaining video)-
Fortune Cookie Pancakes
Man Enough To Be your Woman
My Butt Looks Good In These Jeans
I Do Not Have A Minnesotan Accent

so tell me What Song Would You Sing If You Were On American Idol?(btw- did you notice how spinner mentioned that my fortune cookie meant i'd have my chance on american idol. the statement is funny seeing now how the remainder of the day played out. spinner what else can you tell me about my future?).

we visited the holocaust museum, the smithsonian castle, and the capitol.if you are ever in d.c. you must visit the holocaust museum (not recommended for young children). it beautifully and honestly honors the lives of those who tragically lost theirs. as we walked through michael tenderly talked emilie and noah through the devastation they saw. it is unfathomable.
At one point in the museum there was a bridge to cross, on each side 4 story high walls were covered in beautiful, pre- holocaust, pre-hitler, life telling photos of those who had lost their lives.

as home schooling parents we feel fortunate that we have had (and have) the opportunity to walk through history with our children. we get to teach them the Truth on which our country was founded. we lead them through the many stories of victory, defeat, and perseverance. with honesty we explore how our history makes us laugh, cry, scream, and HOPE.
as we teach them we take into account that we are raising tomorrows leaders. we know that by looking at our past we are making an investment in our future.
and we hope, for the future of this nation- this "one nation UNDER GOD."

Cookies at the White House

2009-09-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

On the next to the last day of vacation (yep, just one more vacation post to go) we returned to D.C. and visited Teddy Roosevelt Island, Arlington Cemetery, and the White House.We visited D.C. in 2000 when Noah and Emilie were 22 months, and 9 months old. Back then our round trip tickets cost us $426 (cheap because naoh and emilie were both under 2 and traveled for free).
Here Emilie and I at Arlington Cemetery in 2000 and 2009 (so glad that i'm not sporting that hideous 90's hair style anymore). This video is for you my sweet friend Kristen! Me eating one of your DELICIOUS cookies. I bet the President was watching from his oval office window, salivating as I bit into the salty chocolatey goodness of your cookie.

Upon the recommendation of our hosts Ginger & Spinner, we visited the monuments in the evening, and they were glorious! One can't help but have a heart of gratitude for the many that gave (and give) their lives to fight for and protect those who cannot protect themselves.

Walking On Sunshine, Woa Oh, And Don't It Feel Good

2009-09-17T22:22:00.000-07:00

yer gonna wa- unt to pop yerself some-uh that their popcorn (hit load, whiles you wait), then plop yerself down in the lazy boy-oy, cuz this here video's a bit on the lo-ong side of thangs.
join us whiles we visit with betsy ross, 'sperience our first philly cheese-steak, sang the "fifty, nifty united sta-ates song," walk on some uh that there sunshine, play fish, and have supper on the chesapeake bay.

and this here is my new blogging voice (don't worry it's just for this post). after 11 days back east (most of them spent with spinner and ginger- south carolina natives) i seem to have developed a bit of a tu-wang.

order your own "cockade" ( as seen in the video).
from the Pleated Poppy or Joy's Hope.

and can you tell me which state i left out when sangin the "fifty, nifty, united states" song?
i'll give you a hint... it was the name of a broadway play.

i love Intercourse...Pennsylvania!

2009-09-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

First i have to say i'm getting tired of posting about vacation. I want these vacation postings to be DONE! I want to get on with real life postings, and the everyday happenings of this Jones family.
But i also want to be sure to document the fun we had, because i know that later the kids will enjoy reading these posts, looking at pix, and watching their zany mother's videos.
So bear with me, there are just a few more vacation posts left!

As you can see from the title we headed over to Intercourse, PA. for a day (this town use to be called Cross Keys, but was renamed Intercourse in the early 1800's).

We were in awe at the horse n' buggies that casually fill the streets, by the simplicity of the Amish and Mennonite life styles, and by the reality that they live in today's world while holding firmly to yesterday's values and traditions. One can't help but envy the innocence they know and live in.
It is quiet odd though because in Intercourse, the Amish and Mennonite are the main attraction.
Their lives are dissected by our curiosities. Makes me grateful that my life is not being examined by outsiders. YIKES! What you might discover if it was... me without a good night sleep, in cranky mommy mode, in my yoga pants ( i don't do yoga, they're just really cozy pants), t-shirt, and baseball cap that I've been sporting for 3 days. Days i've decided to go without a shower, hair dryer, straightener, and worse without LIPSTICK (okay, really i NEVER go without lipstick, not ever). Well, let me just say, it would be FRIGHTENING!

Rest

2009-09-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

need a few moments of REST? read this post at one of my new favorite blogs, together for good.

Announcing the WINNER! & Driving Under the Influence of a Dunkin Donut

2009-09-14T17:00:00.000-07:00

The winner of the first ever $20 Starbucks gift card to be given away on this blog is...(drum roll)....JESSICA from "Who Left The Light On!!"

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!!!
Thank you to all of you for playing. I enjoyed, and got a kick out of all your FUN comments. Since all the answers were right, we created a # for each entry, placed them in a hat, and drew commenter 14.
(Jessica, email me at jonesidosio@yahoo.com with your address so I can send you your prize).

During our trip back east we took a break from D.C. and visited Philidelphia, PA. (home of the Liberty Bell) and Intercourse, PA. (home of the Amish, Mennonite, and some beautiful furniture. If anyone lives in PA. and is planning on moving out to Cali. there's a dining room table and chairs I'd like you to pick up and move out to me on your way). We also visited Annapolis, MD.

if you watch the video you will understand the following-

Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Please include on your drive-thru menu your donut selection. It is difficult to order (while vlogging) when I do not know what my donut choices are.
Sincerely,
A Confused Donut Connoisseur

We feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity not only to take our kids to D.C., but to also take the kids to see first hand the Liberty Bell, and Independence Hall where our Declaration of Independence was drafted, first signed, and read.
Now back to donuts... what is your favorite donut?

American History Museum

2009-09-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

First, click HERE to ENTER THE GIVE AWAY!

The American History Museum is my favorite of all the Smithsonian Museums. There you will see much of our nation's history, the beauty and tragedy of it.
While we were in D.C. I had a sense of belonging to the people around me. Belonging to people of different race, culture, back ground, and religious belief. This history belongs to each of us, and continues to affect and shape us as a nation. I became increasing grateful for the sacrifices made by so many, whether sitting at a lunch counter in Greensboro, N.C., fighting for others who were robbed of their freedoms, or for keeping a watchful eye on our flag one Sept. eve in 1814... visiting D.C. caused me to grasp hold of the truth that we are fortunate to live in "the land of the free, and the home of the brave."

Quiz & Give Away

2009-09-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

One of the advantages to having friends Spinner & Ginger live near D.C. is that they can know the sweet spots that tourists don't know about. On our day together in the city they lead us to the Eastern Market! Here we enjoyed quaint neighborhoods, a delicious pancake breakfast, as well as local creativity, and culture. Another advantage is that Spinner knows all sorts of interesting facts about the city. He also volunteers as a docent at the American History Museum (yep, the museum with first trains, cars, Lincoln's hat, Jackie O's dresses, the ruby red slippers, and Seinfeld's puffy shirt!).

However, the biggest advantage is that they LOVE our family. I just can't thank them enough for having us, and for spilling generosity, kindness, playfulness, knowledge, and FUN onto all 5 of us (i could go on and on 'bout the ramp Spinner built, and the GINORMOUS crickets he saved us "dungeon" dwellers from, or fortune cookie pancakes, great conversation,laughter, and more)! As well as visiting the Eastern Market and American History Museum, we also made a stop at the National Archives to take a look at the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.
Oh yeah, and you did read the title correctly! There IS a GIVE AWAY! Watch the video below and share with me something you learned, ANYTHING! and you could be the winner of the first ever $20 gift card to Starbucks!! Well the first one to ever be given away on this blog anyway.

(if you are reading this over at my facebook account and want to see the video and enter the give away than pop over to my blog at jonesidosio@blogspot.com and leave your comment).

Winner will be announced Monday Sept. 14th at 5:00 p.m.

sometimes i laugh so hard i wet myself!

2009-09-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

lisa, julie, and i. that's how the days of my young life were spent, with them- sharing clothes, talking 'bout boys, sleep-overs, bad hair cuts, passing letters in class, school plays, break-up tears, sun bathing (after lathering up in mineral oil, or worse- butter!), summer camp, catering (julie's family owned a catering business that i worked at for 6 yrs), football games, school dances, sweet 16, getting our drivers licenses, prom, graduation, first apartments, fiances, weddings, babies...25 years.

i wouldn't be who i am today if it weren't for these two beautiful women. i KNOW that God wrote them both into my life.

i was in 6th grade the first time i felt delighted in, and it was lisa who delighted in me. she chose this quirky, insecure, broken, 10 yr old girl to be her friend. she didn't care that i got the "free cheese," she didn't seem to notice. she noticed ME. she WANTED me for a friend (just thinking about it makes me tear up). do you know what it is like to have someone want you, when for 10 yrs no one has wanted you? well let me just say i DANCED in our friendship! i came alive because of this friendship. i moved toward believing i was wanted, delighted in, and worthy.
4 yrs later lisa invited me to Hume Lake Christian Camp (tears)... and here i am now.it was in 7th grade music/drama class that i first met julie. i can tell you exactly where she was standing, how i took one look at her, and decided then and there we were going to be friends. i soon discovered that julie and i were so much alike. first, we had the same interests,which at that time were music, drama, and dance (i was a horrible dancer. julie would work with me after school to help me learn routines). we were both born to teenage parents (and by the same o.b.!) we both came from portuguese families (if you are portuguese you will understand the significance). we understood and empathized with the others family chaos, and we both longed for Jesus and a Life of victory in Him. in a season when life can feel so awkward and isolating, our friendship caused me to believe that i fit in simply because i fit in with her. i think we all need to feel like we belong, even to just one person.
i recall two times in our 25 years of friendship where God has used julie to speak Truth over my life. Truth that on both occasions saved my life.so enjoy this our final day together from this trip (this next video is a bit like watching the movie Ground Hog's Day, as i include 3 attempts to introduce the day).

and tell me have you ever laughed so hard you have wet yourself?

absolute JOY

2009-09-08T18:55:00.000-07:00

while we were in d.c i had the opportunity to see my b.f.f.'s of 25 years lisa and julie. both have moved to virgina with their families, and now live so far, far, faaarrrrrrrr away from me.

it brought me absolute JOY to get to spend a couple of days with my dear friends, who after so many years and memories have really become my sisters. i especially enjoyed soaking up their sweet children (some now the ages that we were when we first met).

we spent the day together visiting the natural history museum -where we saw the hope diamond, lots of bones, minerals (some looked like kryptonite. it may have been kryptonite because i felt unusually weak near that cluster of rocks) and insects. we also visited the air & space museum, where we saw the voyager, space ship one, the lunar lander, and the wright brother's plane (the real one)!
(sorry, some of the images are a bit small. to enlarge photos below simply click on photo)

Field Trip

2009-09-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

Adventure: An unusual, exciting, typically hazardous, experience, or activity. The exploration of unknown territory. The encountering of risk. Daring and exciting activity calling for enterprise and enthusiasm.

To kick off this home-schooling year we planned an 11 day field trip to Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania (a trip that was planned and paid for before Michael became the "Wedding Crasher").

We set off on our ADVENTURE which began with a 6 hr drive, over night hotel stay, 5 hr flight, 4 large bags, 3 carry-ons, 1 wheel chair bound husband, 1 heavy wheel chair, 1 little girl with a twisted ankle (uh-huh, Josie twisted her ankle the day before the trip. she limped like a trooper the entire time), 1 mommy fresh from the chiropractor, and 2 kids FORBIDDEN to get injured! Church, family, and friends were praying for us (okay, really for me not to lose it!). Packed in our hearts was a good dose of DETERMINATION. We planned to take it one day at a time, and HOPED to make WONDERFUL lasting memories.

We arrived in D.C. and were greeted by our friends and hosts Ginger & Spinner (you can visit Spinner's blog Filatore here). Vacation is definitely more fun when you have great friends to stay with! Yes, accommodations are FREE and that is a plus, BUT being with friends who are like family was a BONUS (we're glad they are moving back to our neck of the woods soon)!

Their is so much to do in D.C. that it is overwhelming!
We spent our first day in D.C. visiting the National Zoo and the National Cathedral.

Here are photos from the BREATH TAKING National Cathedral.
In the days to come I look forward to sharing with you the exciting happenings of our adventurous field trip. I will also include some fun vlog's from our trip.

just a quarter inch

2009-09-03T18:58:00.001-07:00

me: josie, i love you more than anyone else loves you.
josie: but not more than God.
me: yes, God loves you most, but i am right behind Him.
josie: you are an inch behind Him!
me: an inch?
josie: well maybe just a quarter inch.

abnormalville & grace

2009-09-02T12:40:00.001-07:00

i've been gone.

first i was gone- taking care of my injured husband, and readjusting to life with him broken and wheel chair bound.

then i was gone- on an 11 day trip to D.C., Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland, with wheel chair bound husband, 3 kids, 4 large (and heavy) suitcases, 3 carry on bags, and Tom Tom.

i've been home for a few days, but i still feel gone.

i think it is natural to come home and look forward to things retuning "back to normal." however, in the last few days it has hit me that life won't be "normal" for a while.

i miss "normal."

but all i can do is walk through each day extending grace to every circumstance, every need, every thing that is abnormal. this doesn't come easily for me. what comes easily is complaining, becoming frustrated, and making a home in self-pity... but i HATE living there. so i find myself walking through each moment reciting over and over again "give it grace."

give grace to the-
dishes in the sink
day old clothes on the clothesline
weeds in the garden
postcards that were never sent
piles of books and toys unclaimed
lesson plans unwritten
bills ignored
phone calls not being returned
a blog neglected

i have nothing left but to give it all grace right now, because i can't do it all, and i can't beat myself up for not doing it. so here, in abnormalville, is where i learn to give grace to myself. here in abnormalville i've got a lot of opportunity to practice :-)

so here's what i NEED from you- prayer. i need prayer that i will be able, by the grace of God, to lavish grace on the circumstances, people around me, and onto myself.
i also need prayer physically. in my attempt to be a crutch for my sweet husband i injured my back. traveling, lifting, and caring has aggravated the injury, and well, i REALLY hurt.
(go to second chiropractor today).
thank you.

finally, to read a beautiful STORY of God's GRACE made real in someone's life, visit sarah markley's blog the best days of my life.

i look forward to sharing with you pictures and vlogs (video blogs) from our great trip. here is just a tiny glimpse.
Noah, Emilie, and Josie with Betsy Ross (and some other guys) at Betsy Ross' house in Philadelphia, Pennsylvanian.

it's disneyland for mommies

2009-08-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

this is the last video blog from video blogging week!
i'm taking you to ikea, in-n-out, and finally home.
want to see my cranky side, want to see my messy car, want to see my kids annoy me!
it's all packed into this video.

and wednesday (today) while your watching this we'll be loading a plane in l.a., and on our way to the other side of the u.s. to washington d.c.!
so pray for me! pray for sanity!! pray that i don't lose it!!! cause it'll be me, 3 kids, and a husband in wheelchair, all on our way to the coolest (possibly the craziest) school field trip ever!

It's vlogging, duh!

2009-08-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

today in video blogville you'll get to spend the day with us in balboa, followed by beach play with with sarah markley, and wrapped up with dinner in san clemente with good friends steve & melanie (cromwell) crutchfield.
enjoy!

Sailing takes me away to wear i'm going, du du dudu du

2009-08-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

WARNING! take dramamine before viewing this video!

and again go pop some popcorn.
wait for the video to load.
sit and enjoy!

video blogging week airs now!

2009-08-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

okay so here you go! video blogging week airing not the next week (as mentioned in this video) but the next next week... "many are the plans of a man's heart, but the Lord determines his steps." so my plans changed, all i can do is roll with it! hahahaha...ROLL WITH IT! get it? michael is in a wheel chair...it's so much funnier in my head than it is here on blog post.

so here's what you do-
start uploading the video (it will take a while).
go pop yourself some popcorn.
pull up a cozy chair.
and then enjoy this clip (okay mini-movie) from the monday and tuesday of video blogging week.

afflictions eclipsed by glory

2009-08-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

when i fall in love with a new song it is common for me to marinade myself in it for a week, listening to it again and again, absorbing every part of it. i soak up the instruments, and how they crescendo and decrescendo. i rise and fall with them. i drink in the tone in the artists voice; the tenderness, power, longing, struggle, desire, passion, and message behind each word they sing. as i think over the lyrics i wonder at the writers own story, what beautiful mercy or grace lead them to write such powerful lyrics? and what did that moment of inspiration look like? that moment when the lyrics hit the writer's heart, the moment the pen hit the paper, and the pick strummed the strings on the guitar.
When i fall in love with a song, i become a part of the song. i am grateful that music so beautifully formulates the words and emotions i can not. i am grateful for the many songs that have spoken, healed, rescued, and spoken Truth to me.

last week i was marinading on the song He Love Us.

somewhere around 2:00 a.m. monday a.m. i left the emergency room, and drove the 45 min. home for a little rest. i got in my car and allowed myself to release the emotions i was bravely trying to hold back, but after just a few moments of release the lyrics of He loves Us sweetly covered my thoughts, not allowing me to become overwhelmed with all that had transpired that evening, but drawing me towards resting in the Truth of God's love for me, for michael, and for our family.

As God sang this song over me on the way home I was reminded that earlier that week i had asked Him, "what do the lyrics 'i am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory' mean?'"
and it occurred to me that through the events of the evening God was revealing to me the answer. here we were again in the middle of afflictions, but i was not consumed by the weight of them. i knew (and KNOW) that God is going to use this for His glory. He always does.
And i know that God is going to use this to draw us deeper into relationship with Him, deeper into His love. He is going to lavish His love on us. He always does.
these "afflictions are eclipsed by glory."

Hmmmmm.

And yes, we have been through many "afflictions" in our 13 yrs of marriage; a premature baby, followed by hemorrhaging and hospitalization, the loss of a son, debt, depression, hysterectomy, and other medical issues (to name just a few). BUT as i look back God has ALWAYS been glorified through each affliction, He has ALWAYS drawn us deeper into relationship with Him, deeper into the fullness of His love. And I am grateful for the ways He Loves Us.

Oswald Chambers says, "when we are in fear we can do nothing less than pray to God, but Our Lord has right to expect that those who name His Name should have an understanding confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the reliable ones....There are stages in life when there are no storms, no crisis, when we do our human best; it is when crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to trust Him, the crisis will reveal that we will go to the breaking point and not break in our confidence in Him."

May we all live in His love, and may our confidence be in Him.

Jesus, Miracles, and Weddings.

2009-08-13T18:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday evening we were honored to be guest and photographer at a wedding. The wedding of a godly, delightful, humble young man that we have prayed for and watched grow up. His bride was beautiful, full of the same Jesus he loves.

The wedding was beautiful. Jesus was present. He was in them, on them, spilling out of them. We wanted to participate in the worship that was happening. As a guest at the wedding I was wrapped up in the Beauty and Mystery that enveloped this sweet couple.

As photographer Michael shared that, " It's been such a long time since I've seen a bride with a smile like that, a smile that expresses such joy and excitement for the day and for her future husband. I do a lot of weddings, and unfortunately it is rare to see two people that have this joy. As the photographer so often I have to encourage expressions from the couple, but with this couple it was just there."

After the bride grabbed hold of her new husband for their first married kiss (LOVED THIS!), I made my way up to the reception hall, began visiting, salivating for the cake- made of DONUTS, and anxiously waiting for the rumored choreographed dance by the groomsmen.

However, moments later the mother of the groom and wedding coordinator (both wonderful church family and friends) found and motioned for me, "Michael has fallen, he's hurt, we've called an ambulance."

In an attempt to capture the perfect wedding party photo, Michael had climbed up onto a 6 foot
high rock monument. He described the top of the monument as having a 2ft x 4ft platform, "plenty of space" to position himself. But as Michael's dad wittingly said later, "Michael is the photographer that goes the extra step for you." Michael went the extra step and fell landing on his right hip, and right elbow.

When I found Michael he was sitting, frazzled, and lovingly surrounded by family and the bridal party. By God's strength alone, I put on my strong wife face, and determined to be steady for my husband. It is hard to intimately communicate with your spouse when you are surrounded by people so eager to care for and help. "What do you need?" i asked. "I just need you here," he responded.

At that moment I needed to fix something, anything for Michael. He was broken (physically and emotionally), The camera and lens were broken (a loss we haven't even begun to mourn), and our biggest disappointment was that it seemed to us that the beautiful wedding day had been fractured too. I put my photographer's wife hat on, a replacement photographer was found, and the bridal party was moving forward in the celebration.

We determined that an ambulance wasn't necessary, and made the 45 min. trip to the Emergency room where we discovered that Michael has a fractured right elbow, and a fractured right hip.

On the way to the hospital, finally alone just the two of us, Michael was able to give birth to the emotions he had been laboring to hold back.

"What happened after you fell?" I asked. Michael cried (in 16yrs together this is the 3rd time he has cried), "I don't know, I don't know (more tears). They were all around me, the bridal party, everyone, laying hands on me (more tears)...praying. I don't remember what they said, I remember hearing Rick (the pastor) and Casey (the groom). Denise, Casey was so selfless (more tears)...I have never seen such selflessness."

As I drove guilt started to set in. The guilt that we had left them without their wedding photographer, the guilt that this innocent fall had ruined their beautiful plans, the guilt that we had interrupted the worship of the wedding day. And as we drove the Holy Spirit spoke to me, "Denise, what a beautiful thing that the first act of worship Casey did after his wedding ceremony was to worship Me by healing. Denise, this was written into the day. This too was the offering of worship I wanted today."

Hmmm.

Today as I am writing, I am reminded that Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding (read John 2:1-11). And there at the wedding Jesus "revealed His glory, and His disciples put their faith in Him."

Who are we to determine how, where, and when God should be worshiped and glorified. He is God after all.

What a blessing that God chose my husband as part of the offering of worship. What a blessing that God chose to be glorified in this way on this beautiful wedding day.

As for Michael- after spending the evening as the best dressed couple in E.R., Michael was admitted to the hospital Mon. a.m. at 3:00. We waited for the orthopedic surgeon to determine whether or not Michael would need surgery. Thankfully surgery is not necessary. However healing will take much longer. He came home Tues. afternoon with a cast on his right arm, and in a wheel chair. As of now we believe that he will be in a wheel chair for 3-4 weeks, and once the cast is removed from his arm he will be moved to crutches, and will begin rehabilitation and bearing weight on his right leg.

Michael had another wedding scheduled for this coming Sat. We are thankful that God has provided another fantastic wedding photographer to replace him.

Thankfully Michael's upcoming weddings are scheduled for 7-8 weeks from now. Please pray for quick recovery.
Please pray also for God to continue to be glorified, and for all of us to be drawn deeper into His love better than life!

postponed

2009-08-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

video blogging week has been postponed.

my husband fell. fractured his right elbow, and his right hip.

there is so much to share, but right now i am too tired.

but before i go, God is very very good, i am overwhelmed by How He Loves Us.

Real Friends

2009-08-07T20:35:00.000-07:00

I am BLESSED by Real Friendship.