as my sister, toni, and i got in her car and drove away from oakdale, she said, "i'm tired. this day feels like it began a long time ago." i thought about the weight of her words and responded, "it did, it began 26 years ago when mike became our dad."
the day caused us to revisit our childhood. together. which is much better than doing it alone. it is lonely to go there alone.
we attended mike's memorial service. we were recognized in his obituary and eulogy as step-daughters. we were included in the photo collage. we were recognized and embraced by family and friends. childhood stories were told and delighted in.
after the service we drove through our childhood. down the streets, past the many homes, and memories. together. it was important. we've both done it alone, but never together. and we extended grace to the other for how they experienced that time. it was good. healing. necessary.
our drive took us past the home of "dad" #6, larry. he was home. we wondered if it would be too much for this day, to stop by, but curiosity got the best of us. he was delighted to see us. just hearing his voice and seeing his face was a piece of home to me (my memory of home is a puzzle of pieces).
as larry introduced us to his new girlfriend he proudly announced, "these were my girls."
in the previous post i quoted beth moore, who says, "you can't amputate your history from your destiny." she says, "God wants to redeem your history."
redemption happened yesterday.
when the relationships with the "dads" ended, there was never explanation or conversation between the adults and my sister and i. the adults moved on, and we were required to move on too.
sadly this lack of consideration for the tender hearts of two little girls left a lot of room for lies to move in. i have believed all these years that i (we) was irrelevant, not wanted, and of no worth to the men who were dads (this of course has carried over into other areas of my life. i battle this lie daily).
but at mike's service our relevance to his life was shared.
and when larry introduced us as his girls that too spoke of our value.
the lie i've believed was being rewritten into truth.
God is redeeming, rewriting my story.
and i ask myself. 'why am i sharing this with you?'
and this is why...GOD.
look at me.
do you see HIM?
do you see God?
Oh, how i long for you to.
God has saved my life.
and given me LIFE.
i am a God miracle.
i feel like the crippled beggar (Acts 3) who was placed at the temple gate (called Beautiful) everyday. he begged for $ (for provision) but in Jesus he found what his heart really longed for, The Healer.
The scripture goes on to say that after his healing he went into the "temple court, walking and jumping and praising God."
do you see me? i am walking and jumping and praising God!
john 3:16 says, "for God SO LOVED the world, He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him will not die, BUT have everlasting life."
i live in that love!
i live that everlasting life!
and i only LIVE because God saved my life.
as we drove away from oakdale, toni said, "it's crazy. we have 7 dads."
"it is crazy, so crazy!" i responded. "but it's also wonderful. we have loved and been loved by many."
Thank you God for healing the crazy and making it wonderful.
May God heal the crazy in your life. redeem your history. rewrite it. make it wonderful,
and be glorified.