Jennifer left a comment regarding my word "soar" that was so good I have to share it-
She said that to soar is like rest (her word), "it's an act of letting go, you know, when you stop flapping your wings, you stop working and struggling so hard... you rest, and enjoy the ride."
Ahhh, I hadn't considered the depth of it.
I know the reality- I'm a wing flapper!! I make everything a struggle! I hold on to EVERYTHING, because I think it is my job to help God do his job. A year ago I became so worn out from flapping, struggling, and working. My fists were tired from clenching things so tightly, that I quit! I quit activities (leading worship and planning celebrations) I love to be a part of because I was coming undone.
Hmmm, God wants us to enjoy the ride.
Imagine what a wife, mommy, daughter, sister, friend would look like who enjoyed the ride!
God would be glorified.
Everyone would want to soar!
"I'm gonna fly
No one knows where
But I'm gonna fly
And soar through the air
As I have felt for the first time
I can be myself
No more faces to hide behind
Just a smile and a dream that is mine
Even if I am the only one... who wants to fly."
Amy Grant
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So encouraging to know I'm not alone. I too am a clencher. I think I give things to God, then remember that poem. "Finally I snatched them back and said "How could you be so slow?" My child, He said...what could I do? You never did let go."
ReplyDeleteFrom the little bit of your blog that I have read in the last week or so, I really appreciate your honesty. You're real. Thanks for being so genuine. Your words and thoughts are inspiring to me. Thank you.
renee-
ReplyDeleteI know that poem and memorized it in high school (more than 16 yrs ago)
As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend
I brought my broken dreams to God because He was my friend
But instead of leaving him in peace to work alone
I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own
at last I snatched them back and cried, "how could you be so slow!"
"My child," he said, "what could I do, you never did let go."
There are always new things to clench, huh.
Note to self- must stop that.
I am a wing flapper too! I love the thought of finding rest and enjoying the ride - HOW AWESOME!! I am going to definitely take your post and Jennifer's words to heart, especially when I find myself always say yes to things - so in effective I am so busy doing that I flap harder and find no time to rest or enjoy this things i love to do! Hmm - more to embrace for next year.
ReplyDeleteI love your word and all of these ideas! What a deep thinker you are! =)
ReplyDeleteSomething I never thought of before either. The thought of soaring is free....Thank you for sharing your heart today. I need some "soaring" too.
ReplyDeleteI love that analogy. And unfortunately it is so true of me.
ReplyDeleteThat's right! I think it's called 'Let Go & Let God', or something like that. Thanks for the reminder. I love that poem...it's the story of my life. Although I know that's not a good thing, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI am SO good at telling God how I think He should work. I've been learning some very humbling lessons in that area recently. I think sometimes I forget how much bigger He is, than me.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being so real. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and there are other people who struggle with the same things I do.
I'm right there, flappin' away with you. (And I'm a clencher, too.) You have definitely caused a light bulb to go on in my head today!!
ReplyDeleteI can be a flapper too. It's part of that "type A" personality, I think. Isn't Jennifer great? I am glad she represents us "Jennifer's" so well, unlike me. :) Loved your post!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome, Denise... and hey, thanks for the mention! I've been there, before, too. I know exactly what you mean. I love the word "undone." It's expresses so much so perfectly! It seems like such a bad thing, but that was how Isaiah felt when he saw God, and look at what happened there! Sometimes we are presented with God and our own selves, and any integrity we feel collapses. Ah, but that's the whole point, I'm learning. See what did God do for Isaiah? God came to HIM, picked him up, and put him back together. AND, when He needed a servant, he picked Isaiah! Amazing grace.
ReplyDeleteRemember this song?
"sometimes I have been unwise;
I've been undone by what I'm unsure of... " Yeah, that would be me.
And you know what I've noticed? Sometimes it's true - some people don't understand, sometimes they don't "want to fly." And they don't seem to want us to, either!
Once when I was struggling, coming undone, trying so hard, I found myself in a church where I was misunderstood. I was new, I had a new baby, he cried all the time, we were sick. They didn't know the "real" me, and I felt like I should still be "all that!" I felt the need to prove myself, but I just couldn't... and when I tried saying "no" that first time, I was met with this... "all I know is, we need to be about our Father's business. Are you about your Father's business?" And I haltingly said, "well, yes, I think so... that's what I'm trying to do here..." She heavily implied her doubts. I got off the phone so defeated. Another conversation, same church, resulted in my sobs over the phone to another woman, who immediately backed off, "oh, umm... sorry... really, it's okay... gotta go." I was forced to think and re-think, and as time went on, I grew stronger, spiritually and physically.
So, I think God uses these times to teach us a lot about ourselves, and even more about the depth of our need of HIM ALONE. Whose approval are we looking for, anyway? Honestly, for me, sometimes it's my very own.
Sounds like you have great support around you, which is fantastic. You've gotta get gas in your "tank" before you can fly, though, so take some time and fill 'er up good!
So, I guess I don't need to post today! Sorry for getting on the soapbox there! Had to be done, though. :)
Great post.
Jen
Denise,
ReplyDeleteWith each day may you feel more and more His wind beneath your wings...as a pilot, I can tell you that soaring is the most peaceful time of flying...may you find that peace and enjoy the ride, my sister and friend.
So inspiring and encouraging !!I'm a new flapper, but I'm enjoying every moment of it !!
ReplyDeletePor favor, va depressa.
ReplyDeletePor favor,pare em frente my blog.
E urgente!
Boa tarde.