Saturday, September 6, 2008

you sunk my battleship

you would find me to be very different in flesh life, different than i am here in blog life.
you would be disappointed when you discovered...

i'm a complainer.

i like my way.

i can let pride lead me.

i think too much of myself.

i am not gracious (especially to myself).

i can be lazy.

i am unforgiving.

i have a crooked smile.

i am self conscious.

i worry a lot.

i fear too much.

BUT, here on this blog i aim not to be those things. i dig deeper, to who i am when i am real.

am i portraying a false image of who i am? i don't think so. i think i am encouraged to be a truer image of I Am. i'm encouraged to "enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart" and to step away from the complainer, worrier, fearer, unforgiver ..... in me.
here, i am cautious with my words, cautious with my thoughts. this is caution i need to develop in my flesh life, when i step away from the keyboard.

i wonder what it would be like to sit and visit with you. i wonder if it would be more comfortable with laptops between us (like a battle ship game) typing back and forth?
i'd hope it would be like this-
"When I look at you it is as if I am in the presence of Christ... It is the Christ in you who recognizes the Christ in me...Yes, He indeed is in our midst.. and from now on, wherever you go, or I go, all the ground between us will be holy ground."

from Henri Nowen's book Reaching Out

6 comments:

  1. That's sound a lot like me, too!! I like being able to write my thoughts, taking the bad ones captive. It's definitely harder to do when talking to someone! Your Battleship reference is funny!!

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  2. not so, i know at heart who you are
    and you just want the best for all you love!

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  3. I often ponder this. I wonder if I accurately portray myself. In all actuality sometimes I think maybe do a better job of it in my blog than I do in real life. At least sometimes I think I'm more honest in blog world than I am in real life...seeing as I don't have to look people in the eye or run into them at the grocery store. Well, some of them I do...but somehow it's still easier.

    Great post.

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  4. are you reading my mind? i was going to do a post in the near future on being "real" on the blog.

    you are honest, open, and vulnerable in your posts - it is what i appreciate so much about you. you share things often in my heart that i am too afraid or nervous to speak for myself. your list... mine could be very similar. move now, be my neighbor and bff!

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  5. You don't have a crooked smile and I know that the crooked other parts you say you have become the champion that Christ uses.

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