you would find me to be very different in flesh life, different than i am here in blog life.
you would be disappointed when you discovered...
i'm a complainer.
i like my way.
i can let pride lead me.
i think too much of myself.
i am not gracious (especially to myself).
i can be lazy.
i am unforgiving.
i have a crooked smile.
i am self conscious.
i worry a lot.
i fear too much.
BUT, here on this blog i aim not to be those things. i dig deeper, to who i am when i am real.
am i portraying a false image of who i am? i don't think so. i think i am encouraged to be a truer image of I Am. i'm encouraged to "enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart" and to step away from the complainer, worrier, fearer, unforgiver ..... in me.
here, i am cautious with my words, cautious with my thoughts. this is caution i need to develop in my flesh life, when i step away from the keyboard.
i wonder what it would be like to sit and visit with you. i wonder if it would be more comfortable with laptops between us (like a battle ship game) typing back and forth?
i'd hope it would be like this-
"When I look at you it is as if I am in the presence of Christ... It is the Christ in you who recognizes the Christ in me...Yes, He indeed is in our midst.. and from now on, wherever you go, or I go, all the ground between us will be holy ground."
from Henri Nowen's book Reaching Out
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That's sound a lot like me, too!! I like being able to write my thoughts, taking the bad ones captive. It's definitely harder to do when talking to someone! Your Battleship reference is funny!!
ReplyDeletenot so, i know at heart who you are
ReplyDeleteand you just want the best for all you love!
I often ponder this. I wonder if I accurately portray myself. In all actuality sometimes I think maybe do a better job of it in my blog than I do in real life. At least sometimes I think I'm more honest in blog world than I am in real life...seeing as I don't have to look people in the eye or run into them at the grocery store. Well, some of them I do...but somehow it's still easier.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
are you reading my mind? i was going to do a post in the near future on being "real" on the blog.
ReplyDeleteyou are honest, open, and vulnerable in your posts - it is what i appreciate so much about you. you share things often in my heart that i am too afraid or nervous to speak for myself. your list... mine could be very similar. move now, be my neighbor and bff!
You're a breath of fresh air!
ReplyDeleteYou don't have a crooked smile and I know that the crooked other parts you say you have become the champion that Christ uses.
ReplyDelete