her baby

"she's moving," melanie said, and i quickly placed my hand on her belly.

and waited.

waited to feel her baby.

melanie's baby.

melanie, the 10 yr old i met 20 years ago.

the 10 yr old who grew up in front of me.

and along side me.

the baby of a girl who by God's design was never my friend, but my God-sister.

i waited to feel her roll.

sweet baby girl.

and with my hand on melanie's belly, i remembered.

20 years of sisterhood;

meeting

oakdale church of the nazarene
enthusiasm
church roof, laying under the steeple taking in the stars
hand-me-downs
mission trips
my first apartment
concerts
introducing her to michael
moving 2 hrs away
then her moving an ocean away
seeing her again on my wedding day
the penguin car
popcorn and kool-aid
driving her to meet her future (college)
not knowing that as i dropped her off my future was changing (noah)
christmas break, and my first baby belly
her wedding day
first homes/neighboring homes
coffee at her place
friendship that stands the test of time and grace
and the good bye hug.

and baby rolled across the palm of my hand.

melanie's baby.

i couldn't keep the floodgates shut.

melanie's having a baby!

and i love her already.

because she is my melanie's baby.

proud daddy steve, "mel mel," baby (in the belly of course), me, and michael.

baby shower pix to follow!

Winter Olympics

People will often ask me how I like homeschooling. My response is always the same, "I have a love/hate relationship with homeschooling. I love it because I am with my kids 100% of the time, and I hate it because I am with my kids 100% of the time."

So you'll understand why one of my favorite times of the homeschooling year comes during the winter when our family participates in homeschool ski day's at Badger Pass in Yosemite.

Michael takes ski days off from work. The kids enjoy the physical education portion of their schooling with their substitute teacher and daddy.
$14 each covers the expense of ski rentals and skiing, and it buys me a DAY OFF!

After 5 months of sitting at the table surrounded by books, papers, lesson plans, and pencil sharpeners, this homeschool mom/teacher gets a few much needed personal days.

On my personal days I take in a movie, linger at a book store, sip coffee and people watch, enjoy a quiet meal, window shop, and breath... all by myself.
I have 9 hours to cram quiet goodness into. I aim to metal in gold in my personal day sport!

Emilie, sporting the Hannah Kearney look.

Josie wearing my child hood beanie.

Josie asked Michael to take pictures of her "high off the ground to show mommy."

Enjoy this short video of mostly Josie; narrating, skiing, crashing,
and speaking with a southern accent.
(where could she get her in front of the camera goofiness from?)

Thank you Spinner for joining Michael and the kids for this ski day.
Next time grab the camera and get me some pix of you with the kids too!

Reflections & Deep Love

Since we're still on the subject of LOVE...
I had a bit of fun taking some Valentines Day pix
(love my little cannon).
Tucked between my pix is my favorite hymn.



O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of Thy love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Thy glorious rest above!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Spread His praise from shore to shore!
How He loveth, ever loveth,
Changeth never, nevermore!
How He watches o’er His loved ones,
Died to call them all His own;
How for them He intercedeth,
Watcheth o’er them from the throne!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Love of every love the best!
’Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
’Tis a haven sweet of rest!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
’Tis a heaven of heavens to me;
And it lifts me up to glory,
For it lifts me up to Thee!

Get Your on Pleated Poppy here.
The necklace was a gift from my sweet blog friend Kristen!

to find the Place

'It was when I was happiest that I longed most...

The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing...
to find the place where all the beauty came from.'
Till We Have Faces, C. S. Lewis



Father, you are the Place where ALL the beauty comes from.

Because your Love is better than life,
My lips will glorify you,
I will praise you as long as I live.
Psalm 63:3

CrAzY 8!

Comedic- you have the funniest sense of humor (you get it from your daddy). You say the wittiest things!

Radiant- you illuminate every room with your Sunshiney personality

Ambitious - you live expectantly, work hard at school, hope for your future (I can't wait to go to your restaurant, "Josefini Tortellini's"), and embrace adventure with bounce in your step!

Zealous- you embrace life, friendship, and worship (I love that you always have a praise song on your lips) with passion!

Yacking- Me: Josie why do you talk so much? Josie: talking is my favorite thing to do. And when your not yacking you delight us with your constant SINGING!

It is CrAzY that you are already 8!

When you were 3 I asked you not to grow anymore.
You told me you "had to grow to be 5"
(Emilie was 5 at the time. You have always looked up to your big sister).
When you were six you "promised you'd stop growing at 7."
But today,
TODAY YOU ARE 8!
Kids are 8!
How can you, my baby, be 8?

"They" said (who are "they" anyway), "it goes by fast."
"They" were right.
(I wish "they" were wrong)

"They" said, "enjoy them while they're young" and
"those are the best days of your life."

BUT I say
EVERYDAY has been better than the one before!

I've had 8 years of better than the day before with you!

If February 10, 2002 was the best day,
then today is the
Bestestestestestestestestestestestestestestest..............
DAY!

I am CrAzY in LOVE with you, and who you are!
(And don't even get me started on how I feel about your brother and sister!)

I'm SO GLAD GOD "added" YOU
to our lives
Josefine!

HaPpY bIrThDaY!

What's in a name -part 2

I'm here to rewrite this tragedy
One line at a time
Hold on,
I'm changing all the scenery
It's okay we'll be fine
Cause we know how this ends
We know there's a better story

There's a better story
Of true love
Of true grace
There's the hope of glory
And our first chance to be truly brave
It's the place we're going
When we can't stay where we are

Rewrite This Tragedy, by Sara Groves

As I shared in a previous post, "What's in a name?"
The meaning of my last name Jones means "Yahweh is gracious."

I looked up the meaning of my maiden (now middle name), Teodosio. It comes from the Greek word, Theodosius. Theo means "God," and dosis means "Gift" and "Giver."

Have you experienced those moments where God rewrites your story? The moments where you look back, but instead of seeing tragedy, God is present, whispering in your ear, telling you the truth about who you are, showing you that you were in His hand, and indeed His all along.
From that moment on you never look at that situation the same, you look at it with God present, with God's hand on your life.

Over the past few days, since discovering the meaning of my birth name, God has been rewriting my tragedy...one line at a time.

He started at my birth...

To be rejected by your father is a tragic story, it is the story I have lived my entire life. My earth father, Joe Teodosio, arrived at the hospital after my teenage mother gave birth to me, took one look at his 5lb 12 oz baby girl, and said, "she's not my daughter." Over the next 35 years there were too many encounters where he made sure I understood my nonexistent place in his world.

But God...

over the past few days, God's Spirit has taken me back to that hospital room, to my infant cradle. Back to a scene whose story has haunted me, and He has rewritten it. I see him draped over me, God with me. I hear him whisper in my curly, little ear, "Denise, you are a God Gift."... "Denise you are My Gift."

He has taken me through other scenes in my play, rewriting my story, making the character in my story different than it was in the beginning.

There's a better story even in the broken story. God is walking me through the better story, and I'm living it.

But not only is He walking me through yesterday, He is showing me today. Whispering in my 36 year old ear, telling me who I am... "Denise you are God Giver."

Could I be God Giver?

I want to be. More than anything I want to be.

When the last chapter of my story is is read I want it to be said of me, " Denise was a God Giver."

Who does God say you are?

Is God rewriting tragedy in your life?

What's in a name?

I was sitting with a very pregnant, one-week-away-from-delivery-friend yesterday, and we were discussing baby names (of course).
Just as I was in that season of name choosing, she has been very intentional about the name of her child.

We discussed how the name you give your child has meaning, and that that meaning is a blessing over our childrens' lives, as well as a blessing over the family.

We wanted our first child to have a strong name, one that brought with it hope, promise, and deliverance.

Noah Joseph means "rest, peace, not broken, made whole," and "may God add"

I had chosen the name of my first daughter, and began praying for her when I was just 16. Her name fits her personality perfectly. As the middle child her qualities sweetly bless this family.

Emilie Erin means "industrious, diligent worker,"
and "peace or mountain of strength (Hebrew)"

Josie's name came to us quickly, she is named after my grandmother. The meaning of her name brought hope to us. We lost a child before her (Caleb, "who followed the Lord wholeheartedly"), and I wanted the blessing of God adding to our family. God has definitely added light, joy, and song to our family because of her. I also wanted the assurance of this child being dedicated, devoted to God.

Josefine Elise means, " may God add," and "consecrated to God"

But I realized I had only given thought to the first names. I had never considered that our last name might have a blessing with it as well.

I discovered that Jones comes from the Hebrew Yochanan meaning "Jehovah has favored," and from the Latin Johannes, which means "Yahweh is gracious."

He is gracious indeed! Since becoming a Jones, I have received more than I deserve. I find myself saying, "why did you give me this life, I have done nothing to deserve it." I see that God has only just begun to lavish his graciousness on me!

As I searched for the meaning of our last name I came across the Jones family crest, and discovered that the Jones motto is: Without God, without anything.

Yes, without Him, we have nothing.

What is the meaning of your first and last name?

Weekend Plans

Last weekend I suggested to my husband that we make tamales.

He made tamales. He made tomatillo salsa.

I helped.... a little. I helped fill the tamales (after he'd spent a day and a half preparing them), I had the girls create salsa labels, I took these great photos, and I ate the tamales and salsa.

I'm thinking this weekend I'm going to suggest to my husband that we clean the garage... oh wait, I already suggested that we clean the garage last weekend, and he already cleaned it.

Hmm, any suggestions on what my husband and I should tackle together this weekend?

What are your weekend plans?

A few of my favorite things- Part 2

Continued from yesterday's post...

I'm really blessed to have a husband whose parent's brought him up right! As a child they put him (and his siblings) to work alongside them; cooking, building, cleaning, problem-solving, creating, helping. And because of this Michael has confidence tackling many projects.

I don't think they knew then that they were giving their children a great gift. One that would translate into confidence and capability in their lives. THANK YOU NANA & GRAMPS! This is a gift we hope to (and are) passing onto our children.

Because of this gift given to Michael in his childhood I am blessed with the opportunity to have a great big "honey-do" list! And at gift giving time my honey-do wheels start turning.

Here are two "honey-do" and "knowing" gifts we LOVED giving.

Michael made the girl's beds for their American Girl dolls. Don't they look terrific! I made the bedding to match their bedding. The girl's were delighted when they discovered them on our Christmas morning by the tree.
Their dollies have already taken up residence in their beds- tucking jammies behind their pillows, and hiding A.G. belongings under the beds.

This gift was given to Micheal's grandmother, Gram.
For all they years she has been a Grandmother, Gram, has had a photo taken of each of her grand-daughter's and great-granddaughters in her mother's dress, seated in her own childhood rocker.
We thought it was time all those special photos were matted and framed for Gram.

The photo in the center of the frame is of her mother, Lilian May Riley Sullivan, in the dress.
Nana Sullivan is surrounded in the frame by her great, and great-great granddaughters!

I could hardly wait for Gram to open her gift, to see the expression on her face, to know this tradition she has carried on is valued by the generations.
(the two empty mattes are awaiting pix of new great-granddaughters).

BTW- Michael works by day as a fine art digital print-maker, and by weekend as a photographer (thanks honey for working the two jobs needed so we can eat and have a roof over our heads! thank you for making it possible for me to be a s.a.h.m./home schooling mommy to our kids), and again has the skills and resources to make a project like this happen.

A few of my favorite things- Part 1

Growing up my least favorite thing about returning to school after Christmas break was the dreaded question, "what did you get for Christmas?" It wasn't because I received bad gifts (except for Purple Christmas 1992, when I received purple pants, purple boots, a purple purse, and other hideous purple items), it was just because up to that point I really liked my gifts (even the Pumpkin Patch doll I received when all the other girls were gifted the popular Cabbage Patch doll). I didn't like comparing gifts with the others. I didn't want to compare mine, I wanted to continue enjoying them.
Even then as a little girl on the school playground I wanted us to celebrate with each other the gifts big and small we'd each been given.

As I've grown I've aimed to become very intentional in the gifts I give. I have truly experienced, "that it is greater to give than to receive." I LOVE to give.
I am blessed from start to finish! Beginning with the "aha" moment the gift comes to mind, the process of creating, the moments of anticipation as the receiver opens the gift, and finally that moment when they discover they are known and deeply loved! Even now I tear up just at the thought of how WONDER-FULL that is!

Sarah Markley, from the blog Best Days of My Life explains it like this:
"In my own personal love-economy, gifts are important. I like to give them, I like to receive them. But it has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with knowing."

Over the next few days I will share with you gifts that share how we knew loved ones, and gifts that showed we were known.

Here are two ways I "knew" loved ones this Christmas.

I COULD NOT wait to give my sister her gifts! My sister and bro-in-law are in the process of adopting two darling little boys. She has had her eye on my Lisa Leonard mommy necklace that I wear, proudly displaying the names of my 3 loves- Noah, Emilie, & Josefine.
Look at her happy face below when she received her own mommy necklace!
In addition I took all of the photos taken of the boys since they received them and surprised her with a BLURB book.
I can't wait till they are officially ours, so I can finally share with you how stink'n ADORABLE they are.

I have scripture that God placed on my heart to pray for each of my children when they were babies.
Emilie's scripture comes from Ephesians 3:17-19

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, (18) may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, (19) and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

This scripture speaks of God's immeasurable love. I want my sweet girl to live in that. She will be reminded to do so as she wears her own Lisa Leonard necklace with her word "immeasurable" on it.

Did you give or receive a gift this Holiday Season that expressed "knowing?"

AND for the chance to win your own Lisa Leonard necklace, visit here to enter a GIVE AWAY!

Our Christmas

Because the Christmas season is filled with extended family we celebrate our family Christmas the week before Christmas.

We start with our Christmas eve.- singing together, reading of Jesus' birth in the book of Luke, praying together, then off to bed (so mommy and daddy can fill stockings, and make preparations for our Christmas day).

We wake to surprises under the tree, and open stockings.

We celebrate Jesus' birthday with a birthday breakfast party, just as we have celebrated each of our own birthdays through the year (complete with the table set, balloons, and streamers).

We read the story of Jesus' birth again, this time from the book of Matthew. We talk about Jesus being the gift we received that first Christmas. We speak of how God became man, was born here on earth, and how he longs to be born in us, live in us.

We open presents.
We go to church together.
Come home and play together.
We have a yummy "Linner" (lunch-dinner. This year we treated the kids to Tepanyaki. Entertainment, good food, and no cooking or clean up make for a very Merry Christmas).

Because our Christmas is a week early, we make it a goal to be done with all Christmas wrapping, crafting, buying, and preparing by our Christmas. This gives us a wonderful week off to enjoy the Christmas season, to enjoy advent and the coming of Jesus.

I never knew 9 years ago when we began this that it would become tradition. I LOVE that it has.
I confess moving Our Christmas was a little awkward those first couple years, But it has become so familiar, so who we are.

What Christmas traditions does your family have or have you created?

Mary & Joseph and the Teodosio Family

Every Christmas day we travel to visit my family, the Teodosio family.
Christmas has always been hosted by my aunt and uncle, Mary and Joseph.

My uncle, Joseph Gabriel, was born on Christmas day, he is married to my aunt, Maria Gloria. They have three sons. None of them are named Jesus.

My family is a large Portuguese family. There are almost to many to count-44. There will be two more joining us this year by marriage and birth.

It is wonderful to come from a large family. I watch my grandmother and think of how this beloved family began more than 62 years ago, on the little Portuguese island of Flores, Azores, on the Atlantic Ocean. It began with a man and woman standing beside each other in a small catholic church. Neither knew what their future would hold.

Neither knew then that it would include 6 children, a new life in America, determination, strength, perseverance, heartbreak, grandchildren (including my sister and I who they raised), unconditional love, step- grandchildren, faithfulness, great-grandchildren, loss, loyalty, tradition, adopted great-grandchildren, and always- Hope.

I am blessed to be part of such a family.

It is overwhelming to think that God knew each of us then, back in that little church, on that little island, a million miles (well almost) away from here. It is overwhelming to think that He loved each of us then, just as He does now.

And I wonder what my little family of 5 will grow to be because of the love of a man and a woman standing before God in a church 13 years ago.

I can't wait for those Christmases when I will be surrounded by many generations of Jones'!

Row 1, Aunt Violet (whose finally going to be a g-ma) with Aunt Vicki and her grand-daughter Ava. Josie with her doll wearing a sweater made by Vava. Cousins-Amy, Sarah, Ava, and Michelle
Row 2, w/ my cousin Michelle, Christmas Decor, cousin Gabriel w/ g.f. Margie
Row 3, Aunt Hilda & Uncle Armando, Cousins Sean & Aaron w/ my Aunt Vicki (who was in a car accident in Sept. She is on recovery road- last month she was still in a wheel chair, this month she is using a walker! We are SO GLAD God let us keep her. Btw- her name means "Victory!"), w/ Cousin Michael.
Row 4, Sean, Vava, and me, happy Aunt Violet, Aunt Marie, Josie, & Aunt Violet

Merry Christmas'n with the Joneses!

Expect-fully!!

Advent day 15- FREE HOT CHOCOLATE STAND!
Scripture- Zechariah 9:9-17
This was our 6th year giving free hot cocoa to our community at Christmas. Every year WE are blessed in the giving. We love to stand together as a family and give out up to 160 cups of Hot Cocoa.
The voices of my children shouting "free hot chocolate!" delights me. This has become our Jones family tradition, and I LOVE THAT!
This year (and every year) I prayed for all the individuals that took our free gift, and for those that that pass us by, that they would receive the FREE GIFT that God gave us that first Christmas- JESUS! I pray that Jesus would be born in each of them.

Advent day 16- Christmas Caroling
Scripture- Philippians 4: 10-13

Advent day 17- Bake Cookies
Scripture- 1 Thessalonians 2:19 & Romans 8:16-17a

Advent day 18- Cookie/Ornament Exchange PARTY!
Scripture- Luke 2:8-20
The kids invited 2 friends each to our house to join us for their very own Christmas party (Thanks for letting this adult crash the party kids). All the children brought cookies and an ornament to exchange. They also brought a non-perishable food item to give to our local MANNA HOUSE, and $1 to give to Charity Water.
We had a fun time playing a game, eating junk food, listening to a favorite story "The Tale of Three Trees," exchanging treats, decorating cookies, discussing a local charity, watching a video about Charity Water, and giving to both.

I LOVE that my kids are bigger, that we are at a stage where we can throw fun parties together.
I enjoyed listening to all the kids giggles. Listening to them share their own stories, including stories of how their families are serving Christ in the community this Christmas season was delicious! MY KIDS HAVE DELIGHTFUL FRIENDS!

Advent day 19- Our Christmas Eve.
Scripture- James 1:17
You read that right! it's our Christmas Eve. 9 years ago we moved our Christmas. Between Michael's family, and my families, we already have 3 Christmas' to attend on Christmas day!
That is a blessing! BUT in order to have our own family Christmas we'd have to wake before dawn and be sleep-deprived-in-the-car-for-too-many-hours-eaten-too-many-Christmas-cookies-zombies by the time we hit our final destination, my Aunt Mary and Uncle Joseph's house (i'm not kidding). So we moved our Christmas to the Sunday before Christmas, and WE LOVE IT! We love having our family all to our selves, enjoying each other, and making our own traditions.

So tonight we'll be reading the Story of Jesus' birth, enjoying the wonder of it all, Expect-fully waiting for JESUS!

I'm also glad to know that when my own kids are adults they will not have to squeeze us in on Christmas day, as our family Christmas will always be reserved for the weekend before.
DID YOU GET THAT KIDS! YOUR ALL MINE THE WEEKEND BEFORE CHRISTMAS FROM NOW UNTIL FOR.EV.ER!

catching up

Advent day 7- Paint clothespin ornaments
Psalm 150

Advent day 8- bop it!
Zechariah 2:10-11

Advent day 9- Make marshmallow men and drink hot cocoa.
Isaiah 52:7-12

Advent day 10- Write letters to our Compassion child. Learn about and give to World Vision.
(The kids wanted to help a family by purchasing chickens).
Sing Christmas carols at a woman's luncheon.
Mark 16:15

Advent day 11- Dinner out and a stroll down Christmas Tree Lane.
1 John 1:4-7–

Advent day 12- Wrap gifts, make Christmas cookie dough, and watch the " The Santa Clause."
John 13:34-35

Advent day 13- Christmas Cantata in the a.m.. Bonfire, caroling, and hot cocoa in the evening.
John 8:12/ Ecc 3:3:13

Advent day 14- Christmas Piano Recital, and enjoy a new movie "The Tale of Despereaux."
(If you haven't watched this movie I highly recommend it. It is a beautiful story about courage and forgiveness).
Matthew 5:14-16

Coming, Expecting

A few years ago I was given an advent box as a gift. The box has 25 smaller boxes to fill. Honestly, I wasn't thrilled about the responsibility that had been given to me. I Immediately felt overwhelmed at the duty of filling each of those little boxes with Christmas treasures.But the box has surprised me. Instead of filling it with store bought treasures I realized I could fill each box with an activity for each day. Because of this box the time of advent (which means "coming" or "expecting") has become the richest month of the year. I have found myself more intentional about the kids, being in their world, creating along side them, participating in their wonder and their giggles, making memories with them.

My goal for December is to share with you the activity planned for each day leading up to Christmas. In addition there will be daily scripture reading (thanks Kristen who suggested this, and shared her list).

The activities vary from drinking a cup of hot cocoa filled with 25 marshmallows (the days there are until Christmas) to having a Free Hot Cocoa stand.

Today's activity was to paint a Christmas tree on the sliding glass window (I am o.c.d., so the kids were surprised that the daily windexed window was going to be covered in paint!) The kids also made 25 ornaments from construction paper.


We discussed the meaning of advent, that the Savior had come to our world, to be with us, to be born in us, to be living in each of us.

For the next 25 days of advent we will add one of the handmade ornaments to the painted tree. The ornament will have the name of someone we love, who we will pray for. We will pray that Jesus will be born in them, that He will be their Savior, and live fully in and through them.

I hope you enjoy the next 25 days of advent with us!

What does your family do to celebrate advent?

(Scripture reading Isaiah 40: 1-11)

Whose Kid Is This?

i ate a booger

you read that right, i ate a booger.

don't tell me you have never eaten a booger. i would guess 99.9% of the world has sampled their boogers. i recall a boy in my 4th grade class who really enjoyed his boogers. now he is 36, balding, drives a fancy car, and has a fancy job (i wonder if hair loss is a result of excessive booger consumption).

as you see from the video above we visited the jelly belly factory. if you live in cali. i recommend you take a detour and head over to the jelly belly factory and go on their 40 min. tour! it was Su.Weeeet.! literally.at the end of the tour there was a sample bar, with unlimited j.b. samples (you should have seen my kids eyes when they were told unlimited amounts of candy was available... you should have seen the "no it's not" look i gave them in return).
j.b. has some delicious flavors, but they also have some new flavors, "beanboozled." these flavors involve trickery- discovering your chocolate was replaced by dog food, your coconut for baby wipe, your peach for vomit, and your pear for booger. and that, that is how i ate a booger (yesterday anyway).with us on our tour my grandmother "vava," and my aunt vera.

as well as visiting the jelly belly factory we visited my dad. my dad lives in a state hospital. he is paranoid schizophrenic. you'd think that going to a state hospital would be the polar opposite of going to a candy factory. it could be. you'd expect it to be. but it wasn't it. it too was filled with sweetness.
sweetness as i watched my g-ma feed her son all his favorite portuguese foods. the way to his heart is though his mother's cooking, and she needed to love him that way. he needed to be loved that way.
sweetness was having his sister, my aunt, see him again for the first time in 12 years. my family tends to ignore his existence (i know it's not intentional, it hurts too much, the loss of their only brother, first to drugs, and now to mental illness). but it meant a lot to me, and i know it meant a lot to him.
sweetness came in conversations between him and his grandchildren. in talking about favorite colors, favorite foods, go-cart crashes, and how tall the grand-kids have gotten.
sweetness overwhelmed not just my taste-buds, but my other senses as my dad hugged each of his grandchildren and said to each of them, "i love you emilie, i love you noah, i love you josefine." i want that. i want them to be loved by my dad. i want him to be loved by my children, his grandchildren.
sweetness came in my own embrace, nestling for a moment into him, my dad.
and finally sweetness came as we left. he went through the doors of confinement,where he was searched by the guards, and we walked out the other door into freedom. there we waited, waited for him to turn around to see us not wanting to leave, wanting to wave goodbye one last time, wanting to take every moment given to us to soak him up. to us he isn't a patient or a criminal- he is a son, a brother, a grandpa...my dad.
he saw us waiting, waved goodbye, and looked at me, and said "i love you." (tears)

in many ways i have been "beanboozled," i received booger, vomit, dog food... instead of the sweetness i should have had in a dad. and it hurts. it hurts everyday.
i mourn and miss the dad i should have had (tears).
i mourn the life he should have had.

and i hate satan.

but i love God.
i love God because through His grace alone i have mercy for my dad (for a man who has been awful, hurtful, abandoning me, denying me as his daughter, torturing me with lies) but i really LOVE him. and i see him. who he is, under the illness. and i long for him.

and because of this, i see how God loves us, sees who we really are under our brokenness, and longs for us.

Announcing the WINNER! & Driving Under the Influence of a Dunkin Donut

The winner of the first ever $20 Starbucks gift card to be given away on this blog is...(drum roll)....JESSICA from "Who Left The Light On!!"

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!!!
Thank you to all of you for playing. I enjoyed, and got a kick out of all your FUN comments. Since all the answers were right, we created a # for each entry, placed them in a hat, and drew commenter 14.
(Jessica, email me at jonesidosio@yahoo.com with your address so I can send you your prize).

During our trip back east we took a break from D.C. and visited Philidelphia, PA. (home of the Liberty Bell) and Intercourse, PA. (home of the Amish, Mennonite, and some beautiful furniture. If anyone lives in PA. and is planning on moving out to Cali. there's a dining room table and chairs I'd like you to pick up and move out to me on your way). We also visited Annapolis, MD.


if you watch the video you will understand the following-

Dear Dunkin Donuts,
Please include on your drive-thru menu your donut selection. It is difficult to order (while vlogging) when I do not know what my donut choices are.
Sincerely,
A Confused Donut Connoisseur

We feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity not only to take our kids to D.C., but to also take the kids to see first hand the Liberty Bell, and Independence Hall where our Declaration of Independence was drafted, first signed, and read.
Now back to donuts... what is your favorite donut?

Field Trip

Adventure: An unusual, exciting, typically hazardous, experience, or activity. The exploration of unknown territory. The encountering of risk. Daring and exciting activity calling for enterprise and enthusiasm.

To kick off this home-schooling year we planned an 11 day field trip to Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania (a trip that was planned and paid for before Michael became the "Wedding Crasher").

We set off on our ADVENTURE which began with a 6 hr drive, over night hotel stay, 5 hr flight, 4 large bags, 3 carry-ons, 1 wheel chair bound husband, 1 heavy wheel chair, 1 little girl with a twisted ankle (uh-huh, Josie twisted her ankle the day before the trip. she limped like a trooper the entire time), 1 mommy fresh from the chiropractor, and 2 kids FORBIDDEN to get injured! Church, family, and friends were praying for us (okay, really for me not to lose it!). Packed in our hearts was a good dose of DETERMINATION. We planned to take it one day at a time, and HOPED to make WONDERFUL lasting memories.

We arrived in D.C. and were greeted by our friends and hosts Ginger & Spinner (you can visit Spinner's blog Filatore here). Vacation is definitely more fun when you have great friends to stay with! Yes, accommodations are FREE and that is a plus, BUT being with friends who are like family was a BONUS (we're glad they are moving back to our neck of the woods soon)!

Their is so much to do in D.C. that it is overwhelming!
We spent our first day in D.C. visiting the National Zoo and the National Cathedral.

Here are photos from the BREATH TAKING National Cathedral.
In the days to come I look forward to sharing with you the exciting happenings of our adventurous field trip. I will also include some fun vlog's from our trip.